Dear Mummy, Now it’s me who isn’t sleeping…

sleeping toddler

Dear Mummy,

Well you didn’t think I was going to let my baby brother have all the glory now did you?  I mean I know he’s a baby and his reasons for not sleeping are, well, baby-ish.  Mine though?  Mine are a little different, because you see Mummy, I am a big boy now.

I mean, we’ve had years of practice and have the bedtime routine down to a tee.  Bath with the Baby, downstairs for my milk and a Raa Raa before coming back up to snuggle in bed with a story.  I might try my luck for an extra episode or another story but then you give me a kiss and I snuggle down into my covers. None of the jiggling or rocking for me.

I am a big boy.

But Mummy….

Even though I’m a big boy now it doesn’t mean I don’t get scared.  Far from it Mummy.  At night I dream now.  Sometimes these dreams are great, they’re about planes and trains.  And I’m like Dusty flying in the sky.  But sometimes they are scary Mummy.  They are nightmares of monsters and ants.  Ants in my bed Mummy.  You’ve done such a good job in letting my imagination develop Mummy that even when I wake up I see the ants crawling.  I need you then Mummy, that’s why I call for you, that’s why I want to sleep in your bed Mummy. I want to reach my hand out and know that you are there to keep me safe. And you always are. Thank you Mummy.

asleep toddler

Even though I’m a big boy now, and normally I don’t need to nap, sometimes the world is too big. Sometimes I’ve just had a very busy and very important day. Sometimes I need that little nap to help me catch up, catch my breath. I know it’s a risk you take letting me have it as I might be bouncing off the walls until midnight when you’re very tired. But you still let me close my sleepy eyes. And I promise it makes my nighttime sleep better when you do, my brain has chance to recharge. I have chance to recharge. Thank you Mummy.

Nap

Even though I’m a big boy now, learning big boy things like how to use the toilet and the alphabet and stuff, these big boy things can play on my mind. I mean, why does n come after m and where does poo poo go when it’s flushed? These questions wake me up at night Mummy and I just need a reality check from you popping in to help me go back to sleep. I just need to remember that you’re there and we can debate the alphabet in the morning. And you can tell me where poo poo goes Mummy, because I’m sure you know. You know everything. Thank you Mummy.

unnamed (1)

Even though I’m a big boy now, sometimes when I wake up I just need a Mummy cuddle (and sometimes I just need a Daddy cuddle, but Daddy knows that we had a man to man chat, this letter is just for you, you like letters more than Daddy) and you come and get in my bed to give it to me. Thank you Mummy.

Sleepy Cuddles

Sleepy Cuddles

Even though I’m a big boy now sometimes I just like to check that you are still there. I like to shout out your name and hear your voice tell me it’s OK. Even if your voice just gently tells me to go back to sleep then I am OK because I know that you are there. Thank you Mummy.

sleep crop

Even though I’m a big boy now.  I’m still really only little.

Even though I’m now a big three years old, three is still only very little.

I’m still only a baby.  I still need you Mummy.  I still need Daddy.  You are my safe place.

So I wake up, and I don’t sleep as well as I used to, but thank you Mummy.  (And thank you Daddy.)  For being there when I need you.  For being my safe place.  For scaring away monsters.  For helping me learn new things every day.

I won’t always need you, I promise, one day I will be a really, really big boy.  Like Daddy.  And then you’ll be able to see just what a good job you did when I needed you.

I love you too much.

The Toddler

x x x

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Now it's me who isn't sleeping

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39 Comments

  1. October 26, 2015 / 8:17 am

    Oh my god. This really caught me… I kinda felt like my Lil boy talking to me..This git my momma tears flowing…..very much touching post… I wana hug my boy right now…wish to be there for him always…and keep him away from all those monsters scaring them away. …and I really can’t imagine the day he would really be independent and grown up.. A big boy like daddy. …I would miss these days then…
    Bilna recently posted…Lanvin Marry Me Perfume – ReviewMy Profile

  2. October 26, 2015 / 10:30 am

    Oh babes this is my life at the moment. Our girlie is just over 2 but was a fab sleeper. Now all gone to pot. Wants cuddles, scared of shadows, shouts out! Slowly kills you interrupted sleep! It’s sweet how much they love you but omg let’s hope it’s just a phase xxx #fartglitter
    Sarah Howe recently posted…Introducing Quack QuackMy Profile

  3. October 26, 2015 / 1:01 pm

    Aw, this is so sweet- good to remember when you’re struggling with sleep deprivation from the baby too. Imagine it wont be long until we’re dragging them out of bed in the morning (can’t wait!).
    Thanks so much for linking up to #fartglitter xxx

  4. October 26, 2015 / 2:00 pm

    Aww bless him just shows that even when our children get older they still need there parents. Such a touching post.
    Joanna recently posted…Firework safetyMy Profile

  5. October 26, 2015 / 2:10 pm

    Oh what an amazing post. I think it is so easy to forget that 3 is still so small, and that the world is a big and confusing place to be.
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  6. October 26, 2015 / 2:52 pm

    Ahh this is lovely. I have a 1, 2, 3 and 11 year old and so we are used to at least one child not sleeping! My 3 year old is the worst sleeper of late, she is constantly in our bed wanting cuddles or comfort after a nightmare. Its hard when you are tired and just want to close your eyes but I do try and remind myself that she is still just a baby, she just wants her Mama and that it won’t last forever!! #AnythingGoes

  7. Jess
    October 26, 2015 / 3:22 pm

    Awww how lovely, it’s rough when they don’t sleep properly, I was up last night for over 3 hours with my 3 year old, she decided that singing peppa pig songs was much more fun than sleeping! I need my sleep and I know she does too, sometimes it’s hard to think like this, especially when you’re in the moment but I probably won’t even remember last night in years to come! xx

  8. October 26, 2015 / 5:17 pm

    This is such a sweet letter. My little one is only 7 months old and doesn’t sleep through quite yet but I know that sometimes she just wants a cuddle and I could never not give that to her even when she gets older.
    Azaria recently posted…A Next winter wish list for AilsaMy Profile

  9. October 26, 2015 / 5:20 pm

    Oh sweet boy! This made me tear up. I was similar at his age, my imagine went wild at nighttime and I’d often end up going into my parents room. It doesn’t last forever but I know it’s tough for you both. x

  10. October 26, 2015 / 7:57 pm

    Lovely post. It is hard to forget all the little things that could be keeping them up especially as they get older. One for me to remember when Amelia’s playing up at bedtime!:)
    Alice recently posted…Longleat Safari Park | An Autumn Day OutMy Profile

  11. October 26, 2015 / 8:07 pm

    What a beautiful blog post. I feel like I could have written it myself. Lamb wakes in the night still, and just wants to sleep with mummy and daddy, and its hard, but just knowing he feels safer with us makes its easier xx
    Alex recently posted…Fireman Sam Fire Safety MonthMy Profile

  12. October 27, 2015 / 12:56 am

    Great post which I can relate to. Bug has recently been going through a phase of waking up, sometimes with growing pains bless him and other times to see we are all still here. In fact his new little baby brother sleeps better than him most nights but then Bug was always a terrible sleeper from his newborn days. Hope things improve for you and he is sleeping better soon which is good for all of you including him x
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  13. Perla mouse x
    October 27, 2015 / 1:29 am

    ❤️❤️❤️

  14. October 27, 2015 / 4:29 am

    This is adorably written! It brings up some very important points to remember about our kids and reasons to be patient with them. Being written from a child’s perspective definitely makes it powerful and speaks directly to mothers. I love it! I’m also enjoying the rest of your blog! xx
    Danielle recently posted…Six Reasons NOT to Find Out The Sex of Your BabyMy Profile

  15. October 27, 2015 / 11:35 am

    Ah this is so sweet. I just wanna go hug my boys now. They are also going through the same phase of waking up for all sorts of little things. Its exhausting, but hearing it like this… from their perspective makes it so much more understandable. #TwinklyTuesday
    Christine Kenny recently posted…Cutest dummies on the block – Choo Cha PacifiersMy Profile

  16. October 27, 2015 / 11:48 am

    Oh wow, I’m slightly emotional now. My three year old woke up in the night two nights ago and I happen to be feeding my littlest at the time. She sleepily walked into our room and I just said to her “oh Darcie go back to bed please”. She just looked at me and said “but mummy I’m scared”. I felt instantly guilty, I was so concerned about getting her back in her own bed as I didn’t fancy dealing with two children when I was already so tired., that I didn’t even think about how scary it can be when you have nightmares. Especially as I get them quite bad at times, where I myself need to seek comfort from my hubby.

    Thank you for the lovely post and reminding me they’re just our babies still xxx
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  17. October 27, 2015 / 12:28 pm

    Wow this got me all choked up! I think it’s so easy to expect them to grow up so fast and forget that actually they’re still little and need so much reassurance. Thank you, really loved this letter. Xx
    Nearly yummy mummy recently posted…Baby led living…My Profile

  18. October 27, 2015 / 3:00 pm

    This was beautiful to read and helped to remind me that children are precious, innocent and need to be nurtured.

    My LO is only 8-9 months and sometimes I fear I’m guilty of just willing her back to sleep and thinking ‘why oh why are you awake again?’ instead of having the care and compassion to consider her point of view.

    Yes, I’m tired (exhausted, more like!) and yes, it’s the 20th time she’s been up that night but she’s only little and I ought to be more considerate sometimes.

    X X
    Lucy Melissa Smith recently posted…Our Date Night ‘In’, Ft. Serenata Flowers (Review & Giveaway)My Profile

  19. October 27, 2015 / 4:21 pm

    Oh, so so fab! Their brain is taking so much in, and has so much to process. So lovely that we can be there for them, even when they sleep … even through the night, to walk with them and reassure them they’re not alone. Oh, mummy cuddles … so so lovely, isn’t it. This is a lovely letter your little man will read through one day and smile; a letter he could definitely have written to you 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday
    Adventures of a Novice Mum recently posted…Breastfeeding my Baby to Sleep: Reaching AcceptanceMy Profile

  20. October 28, 2015 / 12:57 am

    Oh my goodness, I am in love with his post! Everything, absolutely everything that is written could have come from Zach. He is waking in the night and it is literally reassurance that he needs that we are still there. He is having dreams that he can now tell me about and when he woke up the other morning he informed me that the crocodile had eaten him and he was really upset. The next day he’d been on a train being driven by Hector from nursery. This stage is all so new, he is such a big boy but still so little. Thank you for writing this – really, thank you xxxx Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
    Lisa (mummascribbles) recently posted…Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere – book reviewMy Profile

    • October 28, 2015 / 4:39 pm

      Oh Lisa what a lovely comment and I am so glad that I’m not alone. I felt really cross the other night because he was waking and I was tired but when he tried to climb on top of me to get away from the ants that were crawling and making the bed dirty to seeing how quickly he calmed down in our bed I couldn’t be cross. It made me realise he’s just a baby! X

  21. October 29, 2015 / 2:58 am

    Such a gorgeous post 🙂 I can relate, doesn’t he just look angelic like that too, I love watching Alfie sleep 🙂 Thanks for linking a lovely post up with the #bestandworst x
    helen gandy recently posted…Best and Worst Linky #24My Profile

  22. November 2, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    This is so lovely. My 6 year old still sometimes wakes in the night because he’s lost his favourite teddy or he just needs to know we are there. #maternitymondays
    Lisa BacksnBumps recently posted…Half term round upMy Profile

  23. November 3, 2015 / 12:15 am

    aww that is so lovely. It is good to remember, I am trying to drum this into my own brain as Baby G is going through a funny sleeping phase ‘this doesn’t last forever’ has been chanted under my breath a number of times this week 😉

    Such a lovely idea

    #MaternityMondays
    farmerswifeandmummy recently posted…#MaternityMondays Week 44My Profile

  24. November 3, 2015 / 3:32 am

    What a sweet letter! Your little boy is so cute, I hope he sleeps nicely and just has nice dreams of places and trains tonight #maternitymondays
    New Mummy Blog recently posted…Review: Ume One PushchairMy Profile

  25. November 5, 2015 / 12:09 am

    Sleep has been a bit tough in our house of late and I’m looking like a zombie. I’ll be thinking of this post when I hear Tin Box Tot call later tonight. You’ve given me reason to jump out of bed a tiny bit quicker 🙂 x #TwinklyTuesday

    • November 12, 2015 / 7:41 am

      Ahhh Thank you Claire and I’m sorry it’s rough for you too. I guess they are at that age now? X

  26. November 6, 2015 / 2:21 am

    too cute!!

  27. November 9, 2015 / 5:24 pm

    What a lovely post. Your so right, it important to remember that they are still little and that occasionally toddlers need a nap in the day, even if it mucks up your plans. What a lucky little boy to have such a caring mummy x #MarvMondays
    Kim (sisterkin) recently posted…Corners of my home – Girls’ RoomMy Profile

    • November 12, 2015 / 8:00 am

      Oh thank you. Yeah our nap yesterday put him to bed at 930pm and he’s still asleep now at 8am…. nursery starts at 8! Oops x

  28. November 15, 2015 / 5:25 pm

    Hi Laura, this is such a lovely little letter. Its a great reminder that even though we think our little ones are all grown up, they are still really quite little in the grand scheme of things. Lovely post, thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily

    • November 17, 2015 / 8:21 pm

      Thanks Emily. It’s a big reminder to me every night that he is still only little and he is still my baby x

  29. September 27, 2016 / 10:15 pm

    #marvmondays
    My big boy is the same, just hope he always wants mummy cuddles x

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