Because I have a brother I will always have a friend

At the moment I am struggling for the words. The sleep deprivation is kicking in, and the being without the husband is definitely taking it’s toll.

I thought that I would take long leisurely evenings to write blog posts, filled full of deep and meaningful words of wisdom while spending time apart from the husband. Instead I’ve been spending the time sat on the stairs yelling at the boys to go to sleep and messing around on Instagram.

I’ve been staring mindlessly at my screen unable to turn the jumble that is in my head into words. The posts that have been formed as I drift off to sleep, forgotten by morning (or by first night waking). The posts formed as I have been busy pounding the streets aiming to better my 5km time (I have FYI) are gone before the sweat has been washed off.

All those ideas. Those words. Just not coming out.

Some may call it bloggers block. I think it is in part stress, part living apart from the husband my best source of ideas (even if he doesn’t know it) the person I bounce back and forth from, and in part not knowing where our lives are taking us on this new chapter as we await vital documents. The air of uncertainty is disconcerting and spreading to my blog. My happy haven.

However. While I may not have the words, I do happen to have the photos. Hundred of photos documenting our days, some shot off the cuff, some posed, most taken as the boys are running away and ganging up on me.

A photo says a thousand words, these photos speak millions. They speak of a blooming sibling relationship, of joy of being outdoors, of fun and laughter even in times that are uncertain. These photos are my happy place, the probability of why I hide out on Instagram looking and posting beautiful photos instead of churning out meaningless words that are no good to anyone.

My boys. My life. May you always be friends.