I didn’t know that April was caesarean awareness month until it popped up on my Twitter feed the other day. Being a proud c-section mama I was quite pleased about this. Though there is the other side of the story.
I am sure by now many of you have seen the degrading image doing the rounds which states that by having a c-section you caught a “lucky break” and implying somehow that you are less of a mother for doing so.
I had the pleasure of seeing this 12 hours post emergency section with my second son.
I mean really?
Who writes this stuff??
And now I want to call bulls**t.
C-sections, like most of motherhood, are a choice to be made.
Like the other choices that you make it appears that it’s one that the whole world is allowed to have an opinion on and judge you on.
But I had an emergency section, where was my choice?”
Your choice was to allow the life saving surgery to happen. As my doctor told me after my second section, had I not signed the consent form when I had we could be looking at a different scenario right now, my choice was to give my consent. And I am glad I did.
With both of my sons.
In the case of the toddler terror, had I not agreed to the choice of surgery I would not have him here today. The section was a category 1 section and from heart rate decleration to him being born took a total of 7
minutes. I had to give verbal consent which I was happy to do. In that surgery knowing that my son was in trouble I lay on that bed screaming “Cut me, get them out” then begging my Dad (who is no longer with us) to please please look after him.
A lucky break?
In a way I was lucky, that medical advances meant that my son was born alive, if barely. His AGPAR score was two. Out of ten. Where zero means not alive, on three out of five categories he scored a zero, on the other two a 1. He was blue and not breathing, any longer before he was born then I would be telling a different story.
My c-section means that right now I have healthy, cheeky two and half year old who is determined to be the best big brother in the world.
Less of a mother?
No, my first c-section is what ensured I got to be a mother with a baby to take home. That first decision to allow my c-ection will remain my most important parenting decision. That c section saved my son.
In the case of baby boy my emergency c-section, though it felt more relaxed it was by no means any less life saving.
Except this time not only did the c section mean that baby boy is alive and well, it also saved my life.
I had a silent uterine rupture, which along with being extremely rare is also life threatening to both Mother and Child.
With no symptoms they are often not discovered until too late.
Without my being in theatre and the doctors catching it when they did, my second birth story could have been very different.
C-sections making me less of a mother?
No, this c-section made sure that my boys grow up with their mummy.
C-sections are never entered into lightly, it is major surgery after all.
Every c-section mother that I know made the choice to have the c-section for the sake of their baby. Maybe the baby was breech. Maybe there was a medical condition where baby couldn’t cope with labour. Maybe there were complications which meant there was no safe way for the baby to be born naturally. Maybe the Mother was at risk.
To say that you’ve not given birth and you’re less of a mother because of it is ignorance.
To me anyone who puts their babies safe arrival first is being the best mother they can be.
I know I for one would have loved for my boys to be born naturally.
But by being the best mother I can be I had to put my wishes aside and allow myself to be cut open so they stood the best chance of coming into the world screaming. It takes time to come to terms with a c-section, especially a rushed emergency one where you have little idea what’s going on around you, and the guilt I had originally was
terrible.
I did feel like less of a woman being unable to do something that should come so naturally.
But you know what?
When I look at my boys I realise that is not the case. I am more of a woman now that I have had them both, I made the best and right choice for us all.
And by making that choice I became a mother.
That picture at the top implying that C-section mothers are “inferior” is laughably hideous! Who would even say that? It’s literally like someone trolling with the deliberate intent to upset as many people as possible. I had a C-section too, and it didn’t feel very “lucky” at the time-nor for many months afterwards, as I am sure you know!
That picture is such crap, someone who obviously wanted to cause outrage must’ve created it because I’d be disgusted if anyone actually believed that. As soon as we’re pregnant, we start making those selfless decisions for our children and a c-section (if decided or not) is a means of our children being delivered safely. It doesn’t matter how our children got here, it matters that they’re safe and alive! #effitfriday
OMG what an awful thing for someone to post. I can not believe anyone would even think that never mind post it. I don’t actually think a C section is a lucky break at all as having just had a hysterectomy and knowing the pain I can image how uncomfortable, painful and also inconvenient it is afterwards when you want/need to do things but physically can’t. I just don’t understand some people.
It’s a totally valid rant but one I wish women didn’t feel the need to have, we are all mothers and it doesn’t matter how we gave birth, no way is the easy way, whether c section or natural birth each one has its hardships and complications, we should all be proud of how we bring our kids into the world!
I remember seeing this picture (was it really a whole year ago?!) and thinking it must be some sort of sick joke – I just cannot believe that there are people who actually feel like this about C-sections. I cannot believe there are people in the world who think that having major surgery (after going through labour a lot of the time) is an easy option, a lucky break. These people are ignorant to the highest degree. I didn’t have c-sections with either of my children but I packed an extra bag to be left in the car in case I needed one. Because, to me, there is no choice in agreeing to surgery in order for my baby (and possibly me) to survive. I’d love to see what the makers of this picture would do if they were in that situation. You are a mother because you carried two babies, you gave birth to them and you are loving them and caring for them with every fibre of your being now that they are here. Ignore the ignorant lovely 🙂
Thank you for hosting #effitfriday
Well said! And like you say, the main thing is that they arrived safely and you were safe too. That’s all that mattersx #effitfriday
Well said Laura! I believe that even if you and baby are perfectly healthy and choose a section, you have every right to do so and not be any less of a mother. In your case, the options were have a section or let your baby die. How could anyone in that situation not choose the op? What a ridiculous quote and I really hope the majority of people don’t actually believe that utter bs!
Thanks for hosting #effitfriday
Debbie
Honestly, I wonder why so much emphasis is placed on how a child comes into this world in the first place. There are so many other things, topics of value such as sleeping tips, that could be discussed between two mothers. I am so sad that there truly are people out there who judge a mother based on how she gave birth. I’m so happy your boys made it safe and sound. Because at the end of a birthday, a healthy mom & baby is all that matters. #effitfriday
Like others say I don’t.know what the big hoot hard about is. Let’s just celebrate the baby is Alice whatever method surely is more important then scrutining someone less for c section X #effitfriday X
Well said Laura. That picture which was posts is laughable and ridiculous. I didn’t realise you had such a scary labour with both your boys. Thank goodness you were in good hands and the section was done when it was. It’s a life-saving operation! X
I wasn’t really aware C-Section mothers were, in some quarters, perceived as being less of a Mother because of the way their children were born. Both my boys were emergency C-Sections too although luckily they were less ill than your little lad …. but without the medical intervention it is very unlikely my first son would have been born at all and whilst my second may have done it was likely he would have caused me considerable internal damage. I am now a Mum to 2 fantastic boys who may not have been here and I reckon that makes me a Mum in a million… along with every other Mum (and incidentally every woman who for what ever reason cannot have children). We don’t need categorising, we all need to treat each other as the beautiful people we all are regardless of how we got here and how our children got here. #pocolo