6 Signs You Have a New Baby

Having a new baby in the house can be stressful. Heck having an old baby in the house is also stressful.

I’m still very much in the sleep deprived haze that is new baby territory, albeit I’m more relaxed with Baby Boy as he is my second and I physically can’t be in two places at once so there is at some point throughout the day, one or both boys crying.

As I wiped baby sick from down my bra with a crusty muslin I got to thinking, this is normal life to me at the moment but to others I must seem like I am whirling around in a new baby haze, that there are certain signs that you have a new baby in the house.

tired mummy

6 Signs You Have a New Baby

Baby Sick

You carry a permanent aroma of baby sick around with you. In some cases it’s fairly pungent, in others just a mild whiff, in all cases it is there if you can’t put a finger on the smell its the one that’s a cross between bile and sour milk. Yummy.

The Mum ‘do

You are sporting the mum do, a pony tail where you’ve brushed your hair back with your fingers. In part to keep from finding chunks of baby sick in your hair (see above) but mostly to hide the fact you haven’t showered.


Showering and washing your hair becomes a luxury rather than a necessity. Every time you’re about to place as much as a toe into that lovely, warm, cleansing shower you can guarantee the baby will have a meltdown. This is why dry shampoo was invented. And probably helps explain the aroma of baby sick.


Likewise clean clothes are also a luxury. When you put something clean on you can guarantee it will have baby sick on within the hour. When you put something nice on you can guarantee it will have baby sick on within 5 minutes. If you dare to put something on that suggests you may be going out sans baby? Well. That will be projectile vomitted on before you’ve slipped your (dry shampooed) “mum up do” haired head through it. Best not to bother and stay in pyjamas.

Milk Stains

If, by some miracle, you manage to avoid baby sick on your clothes for any substantial length of time then you can guarantee instead that there will be some form of milk making a milk stain. Be it because your boobs are leaking or because you dared attempt to take the bottle out of the babies mouth, you know, because they closed their eyes and tricked you into thinking they were asleep. This milk leakage also accouns for that sour milk vomit smell that follows you round.

Make Up

You’ve taken out shares in concealer to cover the dark circles under your eyes but forgotten what it’s like to put make up on the rest of your face. Which means you are walking round with dark circles badly covered by concealer. White Panda Eyes if you would. Which only helps to highlight the fact that the rest of your face looks haggered and drawn.

So there you have it, if you ever wondered what I look like it’s haggered, drawn, with terrible make up, sporting the up do and milk/vomit stained clothes, pushing the pram with one hand and pulling the toddler with the other.

Just in case you fail to recognise me from that wonderful description not to worry you’d smell me before you saw me.



Modern Dad Pages


  1. Helen
    July 6, 2015 / 11:42 am

    Brilliant post! I have a 13 week old daughter and have experienced all of these things over the past 3 months, it’s all part of the joy of parenthood šŸ™‚ #MaternityMondays

    Helen x


  2. July 6, 2015 / 1:03 pm

    I can totally relate! Particularly to the milk smell – so distinctive and I remember for the first few weeks it is everywhere with getting breastfeeding established – nice… #maternitymonday

  3. July 6, 2015 / 2:33 pm

    This definitely brings back memories! I don’t think I managed to clean my teeth more than a few times in those first few weeks and getting out of my pyjamas counted as a major achievement for the day…..

  4. July 6, 2015 / 3:07 pm

    Hilarious, but also so very true. My almost nine month has mild reflux, so likes to surprise erupt vomit at any time of the day – two hours after a bottle, three hours after food – you can never play it safe. Don’t know when the last time was that I wore something white or delicate, its too much effort. Funny thing is she had learned to avoid herself and puke on everyone else! Hope you just stick to your PJs – for now!

  5. July 6, 2015 / 9:22 pm

    Lol so true lovely and I really don’t miss those days! We’ve all been there and thank goodness those days don’t last forever! Hugs and thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays xx

  6. July 7, 2015 / 12:09 am

    Ahhh, the smell of stale breast milk – a great reason in itself to have another baby, not.

    For us, along with all the things you have so rightly mentioned our baby indicators are:

    Rubbish dinners, in fact you are lucky if you get fed at all.
    Washing – what’s that?
    Our bed is more muslins, pillows, spare PJ tops and breast pads – than actual bed.
    Piles of clean nappies – on every surface.
    The TV is stuck on E4 because we don’t actually have the brain power to watch anything else.
    Friends text you just to ensure you are still alive as a result of radio silence.

    Finally for me, my hair gets shorter, it all gets cut off. It is far easier just not being there.

    Great post šŸ™‚

  7. July 8, 2015 / 4:40 am

    Months I smelt like baby sick. Months. Once I was out at the shops and realized I had not only baby sick on my jumper but magma baby poo too.

  8. July 8, 2015 / 12:20 pm

    We have alllll this to look forward to in the next couple of weeks for the first time. I’ve not really been around any new mums as an adult either so this is all a huge learning curve. Though it sounds like it’s a good job I have a decently strong stomach. I’ve never understood why people like the ‘new baby smell’ because I’m with you. It’s just baby vomit and milk.

    Also, I’m having to grow my hair for my wedding – so it looks like headbands and bobbles will be the order of the next three months too before I can lop it all off! Thanks for the heads up! Great post.


  9. July 8, 2015 / 1:18 pm

    All so so true! In fact I even have a picture of me with my baby laying down lying down on the bed looking like I’d been up all night (because I had) which could be totally interchangeable with yours. Oh happy days. Thanks for linking up hon to #wineandboobs.

  10. July 9, 2015 / 3:18 pm

    Ah yes, what’s even better is when you’re not quite sure WHERE on your person the baby sick is, but you can smell it. It’s like a) ignore it cos you’re too tired to care or b) go on a magical mystery tour to find the sick, which is usually in your hair, and if it’s in your hair you’re stuffed because you don’t have time to wash it til Wednesday. Good times šŸ™‚

    My baby is past the upchucking phase but he’s developed a delightful habit of getting milk all over his face/neck/chin post bottle, looking at me and smiling then smooshing his face into my shirt to clean his face off. Particularly if I’ve just changed into something clean! argh!!!


    • Laura
      July 10, 2015 / 11:13 am

      Haha I had forgotten that, the I can’t see it but I can smell it dance before giving up because you don’t care! Take me as you smell me! X

  11. July 12, 2015 / 2:17 pm

    Aaah bless you pet!!! Repeat after me ā€” ‘It will be over in the blink of an eye’ ā€” although when you’re in the midst of it, it really doesn’t feel that way does it? Just keep your head up, it will be over before you know it.

    Then all of a sudden, it’s over, just like that and then you’re on to ‘The Toddler Phase’ Arrgh!!! Not sure which is worse šŸ˜‰ LOL!

    Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday ā€” hope to see you again next week! x

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • Laura
      July 13, 2015 / 10:30 pm

      It really doesn’t! At least in the toddler phase I can shower while yelling “don’t touch that. Where are you. You’re too quiet. Come here. COME HERE” so just as stressed but at least clean šŸ™‚

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