I know that you’re tired. And that your tummy is rumbling as you gently rock me back and forth. I know all you want is for me to close my eyes so you can lie me down and eat your dinner with the both hands. And I know it’s frustrating when you think you’ve got me to sleep only for my eyes to then ping open the second you even think about putting me down in the cot.
But you see, the room is too warm, or maybe it’s too cold, or in fact it’s just right, the glow from that clock thingy you have is orange. Doesn’t that mean the room is right? Hmm, maybe the temperature isn’t why I’m crying and not sleeping after all.
Actually I need to be fed, I’m hungry. Feed me. Feed me. Feed me.
But not too much now. Nope. Too much now I’m too full. Burp me woman. Harder. Harder. HARDER.
Bit of sick came up there. Just be a dear and grab the muslin and wipe my…….
Oops. Bit more than we bargained for there, now I definitely can’t go to sleep. Strip the bed. Strip me. Better strip yourself and call Daddy in for reinforcements.
Hiiiiiii Daddy. I like your face. Is that stubble? Oooh can I touch it? Now this is FAR too exciting to go to sleep. Look at your face. Your face is funny. And is that a button on your shirt? A nice shiny round oooh and WHATS THAT?? Your shoulder, amazing, put me up there. I want to see.
Hold. Me. Up.
Wheeeee, I’m flying wait a minute. Where’s Mummy gone? To the washing machine?
I demand you take me to her n…. oh you’re back. Phew. What’s that I can smell? Chocolate?? Oh I definitely can’t go to sleep now, you’ve obviously satisfied all hunger needs by sneaking the chocolate on the way to the washing machine. You are now mine for the night.
Faster. No slower. No side to side. No back and forth.
STOP ROCKING ME.
Faster. Faster. Faster. Too fast. Stop now.
Sit down with me.
No actually, stand up with me.
Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up.
Actually yes. Sit down. Feed me again. Stroke me. Cuddle me.
Mmmm, this is nice. Relaxing. Sleepy. My eyelids are heavy. Starting to close. Ooh I have an itch. My foot just TOUCHED something.
What. Is. That?? Now I can’t sleep until you find it. Find it.
Oh a label. Yes. Yes. I remember that from last night. The look on your face says you do too and you’re wondering why you didn’t cut it out this morning like you were meant to.
Back to the starting line, rock me, pace the floor with me, hold me close to your beating heart. It soothes me.
Don’t. Put. Me. Down.
I’ll know about it when you do….. hold me for 5 seconds, 5 minutes or 5 hours after I’ve closed my eyes I guarantee you within 30 seconds of going in my cot they will fly open and I will cry for you.
You see Mummy, there are a million and one reasons that I won’t go to sleep from room temperature to tummy troubles to itchy labels and cold sheets. Then there are a million more why I wake when you put me down. There’s no magic formula.
There’s no magic answer.
There’s no magic way to get me sleeping through the night.
The only magic is you (and occasionally daddy but you come with the boobs)
But don’t worry Mummy. This too shall pass.
Just go next door and look at my big brother fast asleep. He didn’t need rocking or pacing to sleep. He didn’t need your boob. He didn’t need much other than a night night, I love you, one big sloppy kiss. You can guarantee he will *probably almost definitely most of the time fingers crossed* stay asleep until morning. One day I will too.
And when it does you’ll miss the sleepy baby snuggles.
Lots of Love,
Baby Boy x x x
PS If you wonder how we’re getting on now, I’ve sent you a little update on my sleep now I’m one.
If you liked this post why not follow Life with Baby Kicks over at Facebook for more giggles and to be brutally honest, a lot of photo spam of the boys.
Edit – I have to say that I wrote this as my big baby wasn’t (and still isn’t) sleeping. I have read similar posts before and must have filed them away and they have inspired me to do this. As per many of my other posts when I am inspired by someone (such as this post on travelling inspired by Mummy Travels) I cite them. This hasn’t been the case this time and I am truly sorry. So thank you for bringing it to my attention that I hadn’t referred to you (though I would have rather you just got in touch with me instead of posting on the off chance I’d read it there is always 2 sides to a story; “The Other Side of The Blogging Copying Story“) – I am of course referring to the lovely post on Sleep and the Fourth Trimester by Real Girl Ramblings from when her baby was a teeny 4 weeks old, written in her PJs.
What a great post. I laughed, nodded and, on occasion felt like crying myself as I know this post all too well.
Sometimes who knows why they cry but it is nice to know we are not alone 🙂 #MaternityMondays
Thanks Emma, babies – when they sleep it’s wonderful, when they don’t you spend half the time TRYING to get them to sleep any way you can think of! Sleep talk forms half of my life. The rest is about poo.
This is so cute and true and a little sad at the end! It can be so frustrating at the time trying to get babies to sleep, but in the large scale of things it doesn’t last for too long. Soon they are grown up and don’t want cuddles. Just remember to bring snacks for the time being!
Thank you. It really doesn’t last for long, I forget that my gigantic toddler was once my little newborn baby that would only sleep in my arms. I might need to start eating early!
So true! I reminded myself the same thing when I was giving my daughter an out-of-character sleepy cuddle on me this afternoon. It won’t be long and those cuddles and rocks will be a thing of the past. Enjoy the cuddles/sleepless nights #maternitymondays
They grow so fast! X
This is a great post! Reminds me of when my two were tiny – the rocking and swaying, then as soon as they went down they woke up! #maternitymonday xx
And the dance! Don’t forget the rocking them down into the cot dance 🙂
Aww such a beautiful post and funny too! I love how quick the wind changes with their needs! #TwinklyTuesday
Thanks Kelly. I know, I can’t believe that my once very tiny tot is nearly 3, sob sob x
Haha, very cute and funny. Oh, I don’t miss those days. We’re kind of sorted on the going to bed front but no where near the sleeping through the night stage. Sigh.
Sigh indeed! It’s true when you think you’ve cracked one stage something else come to bite you on the bum. Sleep is so precious and wonderful – they will realise this at some stage!
hahaha this is absolutely brilliant!! So very true!! Especially about sneaking the chocolate on the way to the washing machine! great post! When does that magic changeover between baby that won’t sleep and child that will happen though?! Should I be doing something to make it happen?!! Perhaps that’s for another post!! #twinklytuesday
Haha Nia, oh that was a long painful process of gentle sleep training that I’ve blocked from my mind! Though we are reaching the if I’m tired I will sleep where I stand phase – I found him in the castle fast asleep yesterday. The castle being the tent from IKEA not an actual castle….
Aww, a lovely post. Brings me back to the roller coaster ride of those early days. My two year old still wakes in the night, don’t get me wrong, but at least now he can tell me what’s wrong (usually!)!
Found you from #bestandworst. Congratulations on your blog x
Thanks Laura! My 2 year old is the same with telling me what’s up, generally he wants to play with my hair and have me sit on the cold tiled floor. At those times I prefer getting up with the baby…
Ah this took me back! Mine nodded off ok but he never stayed down! He didn’t sleep through until he was 2, it nearly killed me. I wonder why he is an only child….
Haha and then when they sleep through you start to forget the torture!
Haha – this made me laugh! It really brought back memories of Tyler when he was a newborn – ahh the crying and me starving! Then my neighbour told me that me and the husband should take turns holding the crying baby, then we get a chance to eat. Hah. Good times!! Sabrina xx #twinklytuesday
I swear that my stomach rumbling is half the thing that is keeping him awake…x
Aw, how lovely. ‘It doesn’t last forever’ was definitely my mantra!
Thanks Alice, it definitely is this time but that is the benefit of experience x
Aaah you’re so right that it doesn’t last forever! My boys are 2 years and 5 months today — feels like yesterday that they were born. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
It speeds past, I can’t believe my little one is already nearly FOUR months (and still not sleeping but hey, I can’t expect miracles right?!) xx
Oh I love this post. It’s so true, I feel you pain, especially at the moment with my little girl and she seems to only want me and not Daddy! What a wonderfully truthful post and thanks so much for linking up to the #bestandworst and hope you’ll pop by again! x
Thanks Helen! Luckily my big boy is all about Daddy as I dont know what I’d do otherwise xx
Your best post. I properly laughed. Burp me woman. Stop rocking me. OMG so funny.
Hang in there It feels like forever when you’re in it and then one day…you can’t remember what it ever felt like.
That’s what he says, genius four month old of mine 🙂 burp me woman….
Loved the post, and I feel your pain. 🙂
Have you tried a good sling? I can recommend a ring sling for fast on and offs. Or a Mei-Tai. 🙂
I have an ergo which I love as I get all flustered with wraps! Bedtime however…..
Love this as it’s just so accurate and endearing.
Also liked the cowboy hat he was rocking.
That was Woodys hat as placed gently by the Toddler. As gently as the Toddler does anyway….
Excellent post, so so true, nothing ever seems to be right and we’re always second guessing ourselves as mums!
Extremely well written and had me in giggles whilst night breast feeding, much to my baby’s dissatisfaction that I dare disturb him
This really made me laugh. I totally feel your pain. How do they know the second they are in the cot?! Psychic baby moments!
I’ve read soo much about this I used to have a hot water bottle to heat the cot in case it was cold sheets!
Lovely post x
Thank you xx
Wow! That was such a lovely read! I look forward to reading a lot more posts and having a bit of a nose around this website 🙂 Xx