What the Bedtime Story really sounds like….

Sometime last year I read a wonderful post on what the bedtime story regime was really like, I’ve been searching for the post ever since but haven’t been able to find it.  So I decided to share how our bedtime story goes with you all.

Current favourite is “The Highway Rat” by Julia Donaldson and whilst it’s a little long for the Baby’s 15 second attention span, the Big One loves it so I know it pretty much off by heart now which is a good thing…. Anyway on with the story.

Highway Rat Bedtime Story

“The Highway Rat was a baddie.
The Highway Rat was a beast.
He took what he wanted….”

What’s a baddie?
Someone who does naughty things.
Like the Baby?
Not really….

“….and ate what he took.
His life was one long feast”

I can’t see!
*lower book to eye level and continue on with the story*

“A rabbit came hopping along the road,
Then stopped with her paws in the air,
For blocking her way was the Highway Rat,
who cried out…”


“For I am the Rat of the Highway,
The Highway – the Highway –
Yes I am the Rat of the Highway,
and whatever I want I take.”

Lie down

“‘I have no buns,’ the squirrel replied.
‘I just have a sack of nuts.’
The robber snatched the sack and snarled,
I’ll have no ifs or buts!”

*starts playing with one of the 16 toys he inisits on bringing to bed*
Do you want me to read this story or not?
*slides toy under duvet and continues playing sneakily*

“‘We have no sweets,’ the ants replied.
‘We just have this nice green leaf.’
‘Oh, no, you don’t – not any more,’ declared the highway thief.”

Who’s the thief?
The Highway Rat
What’s a highway rat?
*grit teeth*
Shall we keep reading and find out?

“But I am the Rat of the Highway –
The Highway – the Highway –
Yes I am the Rat of the Highway,
and I fancy a duck for tea!”

I need a wee.
You’ve just had a wee.  And you have a pull up on.

“‘Hang on,’ quacked the duck, ‘for I have a sister with goodies you might prefer.
I know that she’d love to meet you
and I’m certain that you’d like her'”

I need milk.
You do not need more milk, one cup is enough

“Onwards they road and upwards –
bend after bend after bend.”


“At last they came to a lonely cave,
and the duck began to quack,”


a voice from the cave came back.”

Stay on the bed or I’ll have to put you in the cot

“The duck took hold of the horse’s reins and galloped down the road”

I did warn you that it would be the cot

“And as for the Rat in the echoey cave….”

Where has the duck gone? And the rat? Mummy I can’t see.

“he shouted and wandered, till…”

Lie down

“He found his way out of the darkness,
on the other side of the hill.”

Lie down, it’s bedtime

“A thinner and greyer and meeker Rat,
he robs on the road no more…”

Lie down

“For he landed a job in a cake shop –
A cake shop – a cake shop -“

If you don’t lie down then I am not finishing this story

“And they say he still works in the cake shop,
sweeping the cake shop floor.”

The End.

Highway Rat Bedtime Story

Goodnight boys.


Creeps out to sit on the stairs.




Then, like a happy ending, the pair of them give in winding each other up, and GO TO SLEEP!

If you liked this post you can also find me over on Facebook which is generally a lot of photo spam of the boys and me trying to be funny *disclaimer I think I’m funny but it’s probably not the case….



  1. August 4, 2016 / 9:13 pm

    This post made me laugh. Luckily Layla is too young to start commenting on stories but as a reception teacher I can relate to the running commentary.

  2. August 5, 2016 / 9:32 am

    That’s one of my least favourite Julia Donaldson’s. So much so I hid it! Bedtime stories are never, ever calm, I know this routine so well 🙂

  3. August 7, 2016 / 10:25 am

    Haha just the same in our house! It’s starting to get quite difficult to find a story that suits them both as the eldest gets into more complicated stories. I think the days of two stories are upon us. Sigh. I haven’t actually read this book with them, but we love Julia Donaldson so we’ll look out for it.
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