Dear Mummy, I’m Not Sleeping Because…

Dear Mummy,

I know that you’re tired.  And that your tummy is rumbling as you gently rock me back and forth.  I know all you want is for me to close my eyes so you can lie me down and eat your dinner with the both hands.  And I know it’s frustrating when you think you’ve got me to sleep only for my eyes to then ping open the second you even think about putting me down in the cot.

asleep

But you see, the room is too warm, or maybe it’s too cold, or in fact it’s just right, the glow from that clock thingy you have is orange.  Doesn’t that mean the room is right? Hmm, maybe the temperature isn’t why I’m crying and not sleeping after all.

moses basket

Actually I need to be fed, I’m hungry.  Feed me.  Feed me.  Feed me.

FEED ME.

But not too much now.  Nope.  Too much now I’m too full.  Burp me woman.  Harder.  Harder.  HARDER.

Bleeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuugh.

Bit of sick came up there.  Just be a dear and grab the muslin and wipe my…….

Oops.  Bit more than we bargained for there, now I definitely can’t go to sleep.  Strip the bed.  Strip me.  Better strip yourself and call Daddy in for reinforcements.

Hiiiiiii Daddy.  I like your face.  Is that stubble?  Oooh can I touch it?  Now this is FAR too exciting to go to sleep.  Look at your face.  Your face is funny.  And is that a button on your shirt?  A nice shiny round oooh and WHATS THAT??  Your shoulder, amazing, put me up there.  I want to see.

Hold.  Me.  Up.

Wheeeee, I’m flying wait a minute. Where’s Mummy gone? To the washing machine?

I demand you take me to her n…. oh you’re back. Phew. What’s that I can smell? Chocolate?? Oh I definitely can’t go to sleep now, you’ve obviously satisfied all hunger needs by sneaking the chocolate on the way to the washing machine. You are now mine for the night.

Sleeping Edward

Rock me.

Faster. No slower. No side to side. No back and forth.

STOP ROCKING ME.

Jiggle me.

Faster. Faster. Faster. Too fast. Stop now.

Sit down with me.

No actually, stand up with me.

Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up.

Actually yes. Sit down. Feed me again. Stroke me. Cuddle me.

sleepy

Mmmm, this is nice. Relaxing. Sleepy. My eyelids are heavy. Starting to close. Ooh I have an itch. My foot just TOUCHED something.

What. Is. That?? Now I can’t sleep until you find it. Find it.

Oh a label. Yes. Yes. I remember that from last night. The look on your face says you do too and you’re wondering why you didn’t cut it out this morning like you were meant to.

Back to the starting line, rock me, pace the floor with me, hold me close to your beating heart. It soothes me.

Don’t. Put. Me. Down.

I’ll know about it when you do….. hold me for 5 seconds, 5 minutes or 5 hours after I’ve closed my eyes I guarantee you within 30 seconds of going in my cot they will fly open and I will cry for you.

car seat asleep

You see Mummy, there are a million and one reasons that I won’t go to sleep from room temperature to tummy troubles to itchy labels and cold sheets. Then there are a million more why I wake when you put me down. There’s no magic formula.

There’s no magic answer.

There’s no magic way to get me sleeping through the night.

The only magic is you (and occasionally daddy but you come with the boobs)

rowan and edward

But don’t worry Mummy. This too shall pass.

Just go next door and look at my big brother fast asleep. He didn’t need rocking or pacing to sleep. He didn’t need your boob. He didn’t need much other than a night night, I love you, one big sloppy kiss. You can guarantee he will *probably almost definitely most of the time fingers crossed* stay asleep until morning. One day I will too.

boys sleeping

And when it does you’ll miss the sleepy baby snuggles.

Lots of Love,

Baby Boy x x x

PS If you wonder how we’re getting on now, I’ve sent you a little update on my sleep now I’m one.

If you liked this post why not follow Life with Baby Kicks over at Facebook for more giggles and to be brutally honest, a lot of photo spam of the boys.

sleeping baby

My sleeping (or still NOT sleeping) baby at 1 – an update

 

Dear Mummy, I'm not sleeping.... a letter from my 4 month old on his sleep, or lack of

Edit – I have to say that I wrote this as my big baby wasn’t (and still isn’t) sleeping. I have read similar posts before and must have filed them away and they have inspired me to do this. As per many of my other posts when I am inspired by someone (such as this post on travelling inspired by Mummy Travels) I cite them. This hasn’t been the case this time and I am truly sorry. So thank you for bringing it to my attention that I hadn’t referred to you (though I would have rather you just got in touch with me instead of posting on the off chance I’d read it there is always 2 sides to a story; “The Other Side of The Blogging Copying Story“) – I am of course referring to the lovely post on Sleep and the Fourth Trimester by Real Girl Ramblings from when her baby was a teeny 4 weeks old, written in her PJs.

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42 Comments

  1. August 10, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    What a great post. I laughed, nodded and, on occasion felt like crying myself as I know this post all too well.
    Sometimes who knows why they cry but it is nice to know we are not alone 🙂 #MaternityMondays
    farmerswifeandmummy recently posted…#MaternityMondays Week 32My Profile

    • August 10, 2015 / 7:30 pm

      Thanks Emma, babies – when they sleep it’s wonderful, when they don’t you spend half the time TRYING to get them to sleep any way you can think of! Sleep talk forms half of my life. The rest is about poo.

  2. August 10, 2015 / 1:41 pm

    This is so cute and true and a little sad at the end! It can be so frustrating at the time trying to get babies to sleep, but in the large scale of things it doesn’t last for too long. Soon they are grown up and don’t want cuddles. Just remember to bring snacks for the time being!
    Fiona @adventure_seek recently posted…Bringing Home BabyMy Profile

    • August 10, 2015 / 3:16 pm

      Thank you. It really doesn’t last for long, I forget that my gigantic toddler was once my little newborn baby that would only sleep in my arms. I might need to start eating early!

  3. August 10, 2015 / 2:28 pm

    So true! I reminded myself the same thing when I was giving my daughter an out-of-character sleepy cuddle on me this afternoon. It won’t be long and those cuddles and rocks will be a thing of the past. Enjoy the cuddles/sleepless nights #maternitymondays

    • August 10, 2015 / 3:17 pm

      They grow so fast! X

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:41 pm

      And the dance! Don’t forget the rocking them down into the cot dance 🙂

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:42 pm

      Thanks Kelly. I know, I can’t believe that my once very tiny tot is nearly 3, sob sob x

  4. August 11, 2015 / 12:58 pm

    Haha, very cute and funny. Oh, I don’t miss those days. We’re kind of sorted on the going to bed front but no where near the sleeping through the night stage. Sigh.

    #twinklytuesday

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:43 pm

      Sigh indeed! It’s true when you think you’ve cracked one stage something else come to bite you on the bum. Sleep is so precious and wonderful – they will realise this at some stage!

  5. August 12, 2015 / 2:17 am

    hahaha this is absolutely brilliant!! So very true!! Especially about sneaking the chocolate on the way to the washing machine! great post! When does that magic changeover between baby that won’t sleep and child that will happen though?! Should I be doing something to make it happen?!! Perhaps that’s for another post!! #twinklytuesday
    Nia recently posted…Our favourite places: Mountain View Ranch, South WalesMy Profile

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:46 pm

      Haha Nia, oh that was a long painful process of gentle sleep training that I’ve blocked from my mind! Though we are reaching the if I’m tired I will sleep where I stand phase – I found him in the castle fast asleep yesterday. The castle being the tent from IKEA not an actual castle….

  6. August 12, 2015 / 3:14 pm

    Aww, a lovely post. Brings me back to the roller coaster ride of those early days. My two year old still wakes in the night, don’t get me wrong, but at least now he can tell me what’s wrong (usually!)!

    Found you from #bestandworst. Congratulations on your blog x

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:48 pm

      Thanks Laura! My 2 year old is the same with telling me what’s up, generally he wants to play with my hair and have me sit on the cold tiled floor. At those times I prefer getting up with the baby…

  7. August 12, 2015 / 5:02 pm

    Ah this took me back! Mine nodded off ok but he never stayed down! He didn’t sleep through until he was 2, it nearly killed me. I wonder why he is an only child….
    #bestandworst

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:48 pm

      Haha and then when they sleep through you start to forget the torture!

  8. August 12, 2015 / 6:09 pm

    Haha – this made me laugh! It really brought back memories of Tyler when he was a newborn – ahh the crying and me starving! Then my neighbour told me that me and the husband should take turns holding the crying baby, then we get a chance to eat. Hah. Good times!! Sabrina xx #twinklytuesday
    Sabrina recently posted…Didcot Railway Centre – for Toddler Train Enthusiasts!My Profile

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:49 pm

      I swear that my stomach rumbling is half the thing that is keeping him awake…x

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:50 pm

      Thanks Alice, it definitely is this time but that is the benefit of experience x

    • August 13, 2015 / 9:51 pm

      It speeds past, I can’t believe my little one is already nearly FOUR months (and still not sleeping but hey, I can’t expect miracles right?!) xx

  9. August 16, 2015 / 12:21 am

    Oh I love this post. It’s so true, I feel you pain, especially at the moment with my little girl and she seems to only want me and not Daddy! What a wonderfully truthful post and thanks so much for linking up to the #bestandworst and hope you’ll pop by again! x
    Helen Gandy recently posted…Five Years.My Profile

    • August 16, 2015 / 11:32 am

      Thanks Helen! Luckily my big boy is all about Daddy as I dont know what I’d do otherwise xx

  10. August 20, 2015 / 1:51 am

    Your best post. I properly laughed. Burp me woman. Stop rocking me. OMG so funny.

    Hang in there It feels like forever when you’re in it and then one day…you can’t remember what it ever felt like.

    • August 20, 2015 / 9:13 pm

      That’s what he says, genius four month old of mine 🙂 burp me woman….

    • August 29, 2015 / 6:05 pm

      I have an ergo which I love as I get all flustered with wraps! Bedtime however…..

  11. The Lazy Housewife
    August 22, 2015 / 1:23 pm

    Lovely!!!

  12. September 14, 2015 / 12:26 am

    Love this as it’s just so accurate and endearing.
    Also liked the cowboy hat he was rocking.

    • September 18, 2015 / 12:33 am

      That was Woodys hat as placed gently by the Toddler. As gently as the Toddler does anyway….

  13. Laura
    September 17, 2015 / 1:41 am

    Excellent post, so so true, nothing ever seems to be right and we’re always second guessing ourselves as mums!
    Extremely well written and had me in giggles whilst night breast feeding, much to my baby’s dissatisfaction that I dare disturb him

    • September 22, 2015 / 8:20 pm

      I’ve read soo much about this I used to have a hot water bottle to heat the cot in case it was cold sheets!

    • September 22, 2015 / 8:19 pm

      Thank you xx

  14. March 20, 2017 / 3:04 am

    Wow! That was such a lovely read! I look forward to reading a lot more posts and having a bit of a nose around this website 🙂 Xx

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