Motherhood: You Are Not Alone

Motherhood: You Are Not Alone

Earlier this week I had coffee with a (new) friend who also happens to have a 3 year old while the Big One was at nursery.  Talk turned to the challenging behaviour exhibited by said 3 year olds, including,  but not limited to, back chat, hitting, biting and screaming.  It was just so lovely to know that I wasn’t alone, that someone else out there is facing the same issues and problems.  It made me think back across the past three years of this parenting gig, and how it was always such a relief to find someone else going through the same. Someone else having the same struggles, realising that in fact, you are not alone.

You are not alone.

When you’re pacing with a screaming newborn and you have no idea what to do.  You haven’t even the first thought of how to begin attempting to stop the crying.  You just want to breakdown and cry as well, so you do.

newborn

You are not alone.

When you feel like you should be following what the books say but your baby hasn’t got that memo yet.  It’s lunchtime already and he’s doing something completely different to what he did yesterday.  You can’t work out if he’s tired, or hungry, or both.

books

You are not alone.

At 3am when you’re up trying to put the baby back to sleep.  Feeding.  Rocking.  Pacing.  Squeezing random sleep inducing toys like the Whisbear in order to play the soothing white noise.  And not being sure if it’s for you or the baby any more.

You are not alone.

When you’ve heard the evening go on downstairs without you and have a plate of cold dinner sat on the side.  As you raised your fork to your mouth for that first delicious mouthful and the cry of doom was heard. So you are left alone upstairs as you battle once more to get the baby back to sleep.

sleeping baby

You are not alone.

When you’re heart sinks at the text message saying “I’ll be late tonight.” And the thought of doing bathtime and bedtime on your own fills you with dread and worry that they’ll run rings around you when all you want to do is curl up and sleep yourself.

sleeping

You are not alone.

When the lovingly prepared meals, filled with 5 a day, cut and arranged to be aesthetically pleasing gets hurled to the floor. Again. More waste. The demands for crisps, biscuits, jam sandwiches begin. Feeding them the best of the worst just so they eat. Bargaining. Hoping. Wishing they’d just eat for once.

You are not alone.

When the Baby won’t nap and the Big One won’t either. While the house slowly and systematically gets destroyed around you with toys being pulled out left, right and centre. When you resort to the TV and maybe even the dreaded pig (you all know who I mean) to give you 5 minutes break.

ipad

You are not alone.

When the cup of tea you made at 9am this morning is still sat on the side when your husband walks through the door despite having been in the microwave four times.

You are not alone.

When the evening rolls round and you’ve battled the children into bed. Then just want to sit there saying nothing because you have nothing left to say after spending a day answering to repetitive shouts of Mummy. Mummy. Mummy.

You are not alone.

When you swear the Big One is purposefully trying to wind you up all day. He’s hitting the Baby. Snatching his toys away. Shouting. Stomping. You’re left wondering where the lovely little boy you know has gone.

You are not alone.

Where 4 days out of 5 you’ve resorted to eating takeaway because it’s easier.

You are not alone.

Where you feel the last little piece of patience trickle away and want to put your head in your hands, crying.

you are not alone

You are not alone.

Someone else has been there. Someone else is still there. Someone else will get there. Parenthood isn’t easy. It isn’t Instagram perfect. It isn’t always the happy moments you see shared.

I’ve been there. Most days I’m still there. You are not alone. It’s not just you. It’s not just your baby. Someone else is there too.

This too shall pass, but it doesn’t always make the next stage easier. It just brings different challenges alongside different joys.

You are not alone.

And there are joys along the way. The squishy newborn cuddles. The great big Toddler hugs. The heartwarming sound of “I love you Mummy”. The slobbery kisses. Watching them battle to learn new milestones. Watching them make friends. Seeing the children you love so much grow into their own little people.

You do all of that. Through every minute where you feel so alone please remember that you’re not. Someone else is there too. With the same battles. Reach out. Connect. Remember.

You are not alone.

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