I spent a large portion of time after the toddler was born sobbing. It was my number one activity.
He cried, I sobbed.
He wouldn’t latch on, I sobbed.
He latched on and fell off, I sobbed.
He lay cuddled in my arms asleep, I sobbed.
You get the picture.
So this time round I fully expected to have “the sobs” again. I stocked up on tissues and waited for those tears to fall.
They never came.
Instead came a different emotion. One which is largely invisible.
And now I have brought baby boy home my guilt is immense. So much so I think there should be a syndrome for It (and there probably is) called Second Child Guilt….
You may be wondering how to tell if you have such a syndrome, here is my handy guide to see if you are suffering from the dreaded second child guilt syndrome.
1. Chocolate and all things sugar filled
Your first born is now constantly running round on a sugar high as you just can’t resist that face when they ask for chocolate or sweeties.
And quite frankly you could do with the 5 minutes piece a kinder egg is going to give you.
Likewise, you are all well versed in Disney. On repeat. Our poison at the moment? Planes 2.
This has been watched approximately 56 times in the 2 weeks we’ve had it.
I’m yet to watch it from start to end in one sitting….
Still it makes a welcome break from Elsa and Anna. If you don’t know who I’m talking about.
Whenever you buy something for one the other gets something. Regardless.
Baby Boy needed new vests when we left the hospital. From this the Toddler Terror managed to guilt Daddy into buying him 2 Audis.
Unfortunately for Mummy these were just toy ones.
McDonalds was invented for guilty parents. Happy meals are little gems of happiness, chips and a piece of plastic resembling a toy? Marvellous.
The toddler is finally eating having rejected all home cooked meals that have no chocolate in. That’s a win. In the future; Baby Boy won’t be indulged in organic home made purees for the first months of his weaning journey, he’s just as likely to have a munch on a few Maccies chips as thrown to him by his big brother. I’ll just pretend not to see.
Winning there if both boys are happy.
5. Photos in general and selfies in particular
You are busy trying to take a comparable amount of photos of the new baby that you had of the first born, impossible FYI with your firstborn you had only yourself and the little one to take care of you could whip your phone out with one of your free hands to capture the same sleeping pose in different sleep suits, this time said free hand is now occupied trying to save the toddler from dive bombing off the sofa and cracking his head open.
When the toddler now sees you whip your phone out to catch the adorable spit bubble of your new baby he will inevitably fling himself in your path screaming SELFIE until you are forced to hand over the phone for another up the nose/chin shot.
Still the moments like both boys cuddle sleeping make up for any mummy guilt and makes me realise that we made the right choice in growing our family.