Today Parenting was Tough

Today my children pushed my buttons.  All of them.  Today parenting isn’t a joy, today parenting was tough, parenting was a chore and I was counting down to bedtime.

Today, even though my husband gave me a much needed lie in until 8:30 after another night of multiple, hourly, wake ups.  I’m already tired and it’s not yet lunchtime.

Today parenting was tough and my children pushed my buttons, even after it started so well.  A day full of promise.  A lovely start to the day with croissants and a fresh latte for breakfast.  Smiles all round at the breakfast table as we discussed plans for the day.  The husband off to golf and us off to soft play.  Kisses given and giggles shared.  The baby happily clapping in his high chair and the Big One excitedly telling me everything that had happened while I caught up on that much needed extra sleep.

Even on a day that started with so much promise, my children pushed my buttons.  All of them.

Today parenting was tough, the Baby pushed my buttons at nap time.  Not by his refusal to nap.  I mean that’s fairly standard and we are headed into that grey area of do you need two naps or one.  So I’m fairly relaxed about refusals in general.  No, today the baby pushed my button by biting.  Have I mentioned I’m still breastfeeding?  Ouch.

Today parenting was tough and the Big One pushed my buttons when he refused to get dressed.  When the mere idea of pulling a t-shirt over his head was too much to take.  When he rallied against me running round in his pants to let me know he didn’t want to go to soft play.  When both myself and the Baby were dressed to head out the door.  Bag packed.  Snacks remembered.  And still he was in his pants.  It took the fake leaving parent trick to finally get him to cooperate without me force dressing him.  Have you ever tried to stuff a rigid 3 year old into clothes?

Today parenting was tough and the Big One pushed my buttons when he decided he was having too much fun at soft play, you know the one he absolutely DIDN’T WANT TO GO TOO, to tell me he wanted a wee.  Now to be fair to him here I’m not talking he went and stood in the corner to relieve himself, I’m talking when his bladder is so full he can’t help but let a little bit out however hard he tries to stop it.  And a little bit more.  Not enough to notice at first.  But enough to make me grit my teeth in anger.  Enough for my frustration to bubble over as we headed to the toilet to clean up.  Enough for me to be mad at myself as well as recently it’s been happening on a fairly frequent basis and I should have realised.  I didn’t.

Stomach churning.  Blood pressure rising.  Buttons well and truly pressed.  Calming down.  Rationalising.  Understanding.  Continuing the day….

Today parenting was tough and the Big One pushed my buttons by having an almighty tantrum in the middle of the food court when I told him he needed to eat his sandwich before he could share my cookie.  That high pitched screaming.  The blood curdling kind.  That makes everyone turn and look at you.  Giving him the look while trying to keep calm and not react.  Silence until he picks up his sandwich again.

Today parenting was tough and the Baby pushed my buttons by climbing on the table, I know he knows it’s not allowed.  He gives me that cheeky smile of his as he climbs on.  And some days it makes me laugh as I teach him yet again to climb back down.  Not today.

Today parenting was tough and my children pushed my buttons by winding each other up.  By getting in each others faces.  By the Baby pulling the Big Ones hair.  By the Big One blocking the Baby from getting any toys.  Constantly griping at each other, angry little faces turning to me to fix it.  Cries ringing round our apartment.

Today parenting was tough and my children pushed my buttons by getting under my feet while I tried to cook dinner.  Literally under my feet.  The Baby crawling at speed being chased by the Big One, the Big One then circling me moaning that he is hungry.  Chopping, stirring, boiling.  Trying to move each child to safety, each time them coming back in.  Again and again.

Today my children pushed my buttons.

Today parenting was tough.

Right now my children are fast asleep.

Sleeping

Tonight I will sneak into each boy, give them a kiss and silently apologise for each time I’ve lost my temper.  For each time I’ve felt my teeth grit.  For each time I’ve rolled my eyes.  For each time I’ve willed the seconds away.

Tonight I will give both boys an extra kiss.  An extra whispered I love you.

And I’ll know that even though both of them push my buttons like you wouldnt believe, that I am so lucky to have them both.  And no matter how often they press my buttons I wouldn’t have them any other way.  No one ever said parenting was easy.

But oh, how it’s worth it.

Me and W Me and E

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*images taken by Sophia Mattia Photography

Today Parenting Was Tough

 

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22 Comments

  1. May 6, 2016 / 10:44 am

    I think we can all relate to this, those days are tough. I hope today is easier for you.
    Nat.x

  2. May 6, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    oh my, hourly wake-ups is not fun! We have all been there on those days when we are just trying to survive. I hope you get a good night’s sleep soon.

  3. May 6, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    Oh, I can so relate to this! I always feel awful for getting frustrated and irritable with Marianna, and resolve to be calmer and better adjusted. And then she decides the best game ever invented is sticking her fingernails in my eye and yelling ‘No, No, No’ at the top of her voice to every suggestion… lol. x #effitfriday

  4. May 6, 2016 / 3:23 pm

    I love this. I’m only nearly 5 months in but I remember that these things will pass. When she’s wide awake and chatting to me at 4am, pressing the last button, I know that it’s only temporary and she will go to sleep… one day… maybe… haha #effitfriday

  5. May 6, 2016 / 3:31 pm

    I’m reading this while sporting a scab on one nipple thanks to Little B biting – I feel your pain! #effitfriday

  6. May 6, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    All us mums can relate to having our buttons pushed and like you said, when we feeling guilty we always give them them extra kisses at bedtime 🙂 #effitfriday

  7. May 6, 2016 / 5:18 pm

    I’m impressed by the speed of your cool down! It takes me a while to come back from full meltdown.

    I get the lighter end of buttton pushing but it can get intense quickly. When they are ramping up for pesky that’s not as bad, it’s when they go from cherub to demon in an eyeblink it’s hardest as there’s no time to prepare.

    #effitfriday

  8. May 6, 2016 / 5:27 pm

    Oh I’ve been there, and still am, even at 6 and 9 years old. I love them to bits but sometimes they do know how to make me want to scream and run away!! I was having a whinge to my dad on Skype yesterday about it and he said “I remember your mother saying the very same thing!” so I guess we aren’t alone!

    Happy Friday!

  9. May 6, 2016 / 7:26 pm

    This sounds like an incredibly frustrating day, especially when it started out so well! Especially the bits where they know what they are doing is wrong but they do it anyway! Thanks for hosting #effitfriday, it’s so good to be back!
    Debbie

  10. May 6, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    I don’t think there is a parent alive that hasn’t had a day like this, and if there is they are probably lying or heavily medicated. Today is another day. Hope it was a better one

  11. May 7, 2016 / 2:02 am

    Oh no! We’ve all been there, and the photos with this post are lovely. #effitfriday

  12. May 7, 2016 / 10:47 am

    Does the fake leaving trick work for you? My little boy just says “ok mummy, see you later, I stay here all by self”. That definitely pushes my buttons 🙂 #effitfriday

  13. May 7, 2016 / 11:43 pm

    Mate – I feel ya!

    I have a lot of these days 🙁 And I’m not proud of it.

    Thanks for sharing, I know I’m not alone.

  14. May 8, 2016 / 9:28 am

    I can definitely relate to this – you always seem so much more mature and aware than I think I am when my daughter winds me up, those days when every single thing seems to be a battle…

  15. May 9, 2016 / 2:25 pm

    Sometimes all we can do is breathe and take it moment by moment. Thanks for the relatable insights 🙂 #marvmondays

  16. May 10, 2016 / 12:17 am

    Oh the joy of parenting, I could forgive mine anything when they are asleep! #MarvMondays

  17. May 14, 2016 / 1:29 am

    Oh, I’ve definitely had days like these. When it just feels like its all too much and you’ve reached the end of your patience threshold. Children can be so testing and trying at times and those days everything just feels difficult. But then you get to the end of the day and watch them peacefully sleeping and all is forgotten (until tomorrow 😉 Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily

  18. May 16, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    I can totally identify with days like these. You are right at the end. I know I do exactly the same, give that extra kiss or cuddle because at the end of the day they are amazing. Lovely post

  19. May 16, 2016 / 1:24 pm

    I think it’s so important to acknowledge that we all have days like this. I hate it when people tell you to “cherish every moment”, because some moments are s**t. I often lose my patience – when my baby won’t nap, when she refuses to eat her dinner, when she wakes up for the upteenth time at night – but I always feel bad about it, because you’re right – our kids ARE worth it. All of it. #fartglitter

  20. May 16, 2016 / 11:45 pm

    I’ve had so many days like these. It does actually feel like they are ganging up just to try and p*ss you off doesn’t it? I sometimes feel like I’ve spent the whole day scowling and growling at them, but then one of them does something cute and I just want to eat them I love them so much. I guess it’s the joy of them learning about boundaries. Mostly ours and how to push us to the very limits of them! :0) You’re right though – so worth every single second.
    Thank you for sharing with #fartglitter x

  21. May 18, 2016 / 10:47 pm

    What a great post, and one I think so many mamas will relate to! They are our world, our everything, but sometimes we need an Off Button! It’s amazing isn’t it how the same behaviour can illicit a different reaction from us on different days. How some days, we’re patient and positive, yet on others, we lose our rag at the slightest annoyance. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who sometimes struggles and feels guilty at the end of the day!!
    #fartglitter

  22. June 1, 2016 / 4:35 pm

    You come across as a far more relaxed parent than most I know. They’re lucky to have you. x

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