Living with a Fournado

I had a message from the lovely Hannah last week, literally wailing at me about the fact that Lu was mere weeks away from being four and yet somehow the f$:(/$@g fours had hit already.

And I had a lightbulb moment.

I thought that my, very nearly, four year old was just being a turd to assert his place in the tribe. Breaking out the middle child cliche. And just generally rebelling against the baby.

I was wrong – it’s the f$&@”g fours hitting early

And boy have they hit.

I mean, I thought I was prepared after his big brother went through it.

Except this kid of mine, this middle brother, has seen it and decided to raise it up a notch.

And by a notch I actually mean a hundredfold.

And by a hundredfold I actually mean a thousandfold.

And by a thousandfold…. well you get the picture.

“Mummy I don’t like you, I’m cancelling your birthday”

“You’re not coming to my birthday”

“I don’t like you I only love Noah in my family”

“Do you want me to kick you?”

“You’re making me cry.”

“Urrrghsshgskfaiubvhegfuiwvn” 

Raging against the inhumanity of me asking him to go get his clothes so we can get dressed and go out. And go out somewhere fun for him.

Planking on the floor over the injustice of me taking his pyjamas off.

Screaming at the indignity of being taken into school.

Tears coursing down his face as he wails over the hardship of life as a (nearly) four year old.

Now don’t get me wrong

He has moments of absolute loveliness. The big smile as my face appears in the doorway at school, running to me, big cuddles and kisses.

Giggles with his biggest brother and tickling his baby brothers toes.

But the rest of the time? He is a horror to be with.

Unless you’re someone else

People look at me, aghast, when I dare suggest that this cherubic child of mine is anything but an angel.

My school run partner doesn’t believe me when I tell her that he throws the most monumental tantrums. Over nothing. That he runs away from me on the school run. Because for her, he is nothing but angelic. Holding her hand and walking politely by her side.

The same with his teacher.

With friends.

Even with family.

Yet behind closed doors this fournado monster is unleashed. Causing havoc, chaos and disruption in his wake.

Unsettling his baby brother, upsetting his biggest brother.

All I have to remember is….

This too shall pass

And then we’ll be onto the next phase…..