When Mommy Bloggers Go To War

When Mommy Bloggers Go To War

Mommy blogging wars.  Like the fabricated mummy wars but even bitchier, because we all have access to words to write down our deepest, venomous thoughts.  Welcome to the mommy blogging wars, Mommy got nasty, nails got sharpened and so it began.

Dear Mommy Blogger – You Suck” as a blogger, a Mummy blogger – I like to differentiate from my US counterparts, I will never be a Mommy blogger as I will never be Mommy to my boys, only Mummy – the title was immediate click bait for me.  Not only was the title screaming at me to click and read, it was also screaming at me to be angered.  To be incensed.  To be really hacked off.  So that’s the mindset I started reading in and that’s the response it elicted in me.  Clever, huh?

I mean, how dare she?  How dare she label each and every one of us Mummy Bloggers, in turn creating the next Mommy Blogging Wars.  She hasn’t read my blog, she doesn’t know me, how dare she make these assumptions that I was bland, that I was boring, that I wasn’t happy, that I shell out hundreds of pounds to not get very far with my blog.  Though to be fair, the first reading I was so incensed I only skim read, then the Baby woke from his nap and my attention was otherwise diverted.

Now that should have been the end of it, I should have left feeling mildly incensed that a mommy blogger had called for the end of all Mummy Blogs.  But the replies have started trickling in, first up I read this wonderful response from Leslie at Messy Blog UK, then I read some great comments over on MommaBoss’s Facebook post agreeing with the original post.  So I went back and read it again.  And again.  Then I went around her site, reading other articles posted.  Gaining a different perspective of the writer and thinking differently about the whole thing.

Reading it objectively, instead of reading it as though it was an attack against me personally.

It’s not.  She doesn’t know me.  She doesn’t know my blog.

It’s an attack that’s for sure, but reading it again to me it seems to be one that’s aimed at the Mommy Blogger she used to be, the one that lost her voice.  The one that was no longer true to herself or her values.

I stopped reading it as an attack.  I started reading it as a warning.  A warning not to lose my way.  A warning not to sell out against my beliefs.  A warning to write what I want to write rather than some twee nonsense I’m paid to write.  Which is a great reminder, stay true to myself for that is who I write for.  Me.  Myself.  And I.

But still, all that said, I don’t think that anyone should be told you suck.  That you should stop writing and find something you’re better at.  Especially not as a generalised sweeping statement that you know will anger thousands upon thousands of mommy bloggers thus starting the mommy blogger wars.  Those that agree.  Those that don’t.  Those that sit on the fence.  But hey, it gets you the page views right?

Maybe it’s because I’m a mummy blogger rather than a mommy blogger.  Maybe it’s my general outlook on life.  Maybe it’s because I think there are good days and bad days and downright parenting is tough days.  Maybe because if I don’t like what you write I won’t bother reading your blog, and I expect the same attitude back.  Maybe it’s because there is black, there is white and every shade of grey in between.  And that means that there is a reader for every blog, someone that is touched by your words, someone that needs you to write for them.

For that reason alone, this mummy blogger won’t be closing her blog down anytime soon.

Mommy Blogger

This is me, imperfectly perfect Mummy Blogger with my littlest hip monkey who hates to sleep

When Mommy Bloggers go to war

Cuddle Fairy
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39 Comments

  1. May 15, 2016 / 8:57 pm

    Love this take on it Laura. I agreed with many a point she made and took it as a warning too. I write because I love it, not for money, not for stats- they are just a bonus. I think as long as a blogger (of any sort, not just a mummy blogger) loves what they do then that is all that matters I think x
    Katy (What Katy Said) recently posted…Siblings: MayMy Profile

    • May 15, 2016 / 9:21 pm

      I agree completely Kate – I think it shines through when you write with passion about something you love and it makes your blog much more readable!xx

  2. May 15, 2016 / 10:34 pm

    Well said Laura. I love blogs like yours that are honest. The highs and the lows. And actually if you can make money doing something you love, something you are good at… Well that’s always something to be proud of.

  3. May 16, 2016 / 12:39 am

    Off to go and read it, but your view seems very practical and what most mummy bloggers over here would do as far as I can tell. I think as long as we’re writing for us, then why should we stop.
    Emma T recently posted…Protect your phone – Iphone 6/6s case giveawayMy Profile

  4. May 16, 2016 / 3:29 am

    I went and read the post of course – it’s total click bait – you have to give her props for knowing how to get a post read!
    I went from feeling completely offended on behalf of the fab mummy blogs I read, to thinking she was just blowing her own trumpet, to thinking she made some valid points about not selling out.
    Recently I turned down something which could have been a fantastic opportunity but there was no way I could recommend what they were doing to other people in good faith (I won’t bore everyone with the details). No amount of money offered would make me recommend something like this to others and I think that’s kind of what she was getting at towards the end.
    Debbie

  5. May 16, 2016 / 11:11 am

    I’m honestly resisting the temptation to go click on it – out of spite!!!

    But from the gist of your review, I think the key anyone even considering blogging as a mum (whether its a mummy/mommy blog or any other niche) is that only a tiny fraction of people make any serious money from their blogs. Good, enjoyable, readable blogs are written from the heart and connect with their readers, they may bring their creators some pocket change, some great experiences, but hopefully a sense of community and self satisfaction too.

    Paid blogs come across looking exactly like that. Its ok to be the later, but accept the type of community that will create.

  6. May 16, 2016 / 10:21 pm

    My feelings on it are like yours – the second time you read it haha! I was chatting to Kate and Laura and said how people interpret tone so differently, because I didn’t read it as an attack on bloggers but more as an encouragement to just be more us and not so commercialised. And I liked the end part of her post, I found it really encouraging, but others have said the opposite. Funny old world isn’t it x
    Sian QuiteFranklySheSaid recently posted…Happy Days: Summer’s ComingMy Profile

  7. May 17, 2016 / 9:19 am

    The post was such a click bait, but, it did have done valid points. It did smack to me to be a bit of ‘oh, I commercialised my blog but didn’t know how to keep my boundaries, boo hoo’ but like others have said, I suppose it can also be read as a warning message. I know I struggle with the balance too!
    Wave to Mummy recently posted…Toddler OOTD #38 – Wearing mummy’s Missoni beanieMy Profile

  8. May 18, 2016 / 10:32 am

    I started taking but it was very long and seemed quite repetitive and I have a small child – so I gave up.

    But… Though I too was annoyed by the title, I agreed with some points she made.

    And actually, as for the inflammatory title, that’s just being business savvy! Part of our craft is coming up with titles which convert to page views! She did alright there, didn’t she?!

    #BloggerClubUK

  9. May 18, 2016 / 10:33 am

    I skim read the post – initially it angered me too but I agree totally with your take on it. She wrote it in a clever way to illicit a response and to make a viral post… she is the Simon Cowel of blogging in my opinion.
    Catie: An Imperfect Mum recently posted…Sex & the City: A window into my 20’sMy Profile

  10. May 18, 2016 / 11:10 am

    I haven’t even read the post. I won’t give the author the hits. I get the gist of it though, just from reading your post and the comments here. I’m guessing she’s a Katie Hopkins type – writing controversial things to get a rise out of people. #BloggerClubUK
    Sarah @ Mum & Mor recently posted…Out of My Depth With Parent BloggingMy Profile

  11. May 18, 2016 / 12:22 pm

    I agree that it wasn’t pleasant to read – however, there were some points that I couldn’t help agree with – I don’t write for money so my blogs aren’t swayed but I fully support others who do and have on time enjoyed their reviews. I write for enjoyment as I think many of us do and I think we should all carry on doing exactly what we do as I have never met such a warm and genuine group of people so I think she needs to calm down to be honest – she was definitely having a bad day – we’ve all had those. I’m going to enjoy seeing the response from others too! #BloggerClubUK

  12. May 18, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    haha! she is pissed OFF! lol – your right though, she is just mad at herself I think.. I don’t blog for money (not that I’m against anyone that does) it’s just for fun for me because I love to write, and I absolutely love blogging! And as long as I continue to love it, I’ll keep writing 🙂 And just to add, I DO actually fully read all posts I click on, because I DO actually like to hear what other bloggers (mummy bloggers or not) are saying… #bloggerclubuk
    Laughing Mum recently posted…Comment on Mission(ary) Impossible by The Laughing MumMy Profile

  13. Mud Cakes and Wine
    May 18, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    I had to click through and have a read, was I meant to laugh :0) love your response X #bloggerclubuk

  14. May 18, 2016 / 4:55 pm

    I read it earlier this week – took the bait! While I felt lots of her comments were cruel and unfounded (no-one is reading your blog!) I think she did have some valid points about being honest, not selling out, and enjoying what you do. That said, I think that could be directed at all bloggers – seems a bit harsh to single out Mummy Bloggers as a group. But hey, it gets us to click the link, doesn’t it? #BloggerClubUK
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…A wet and windy trip to Wheal CoatesMy Profile

  15. May 18, 2016 / 5:08 pm

    It’s a strong reminder to blog because you want to and not be swayed from your own beliefs and passions. I complete agree with you, but I think that posts huge gushing statements could be damaging, especially to anyone who has taken THAT post at face value and without digging a bit deeper as you did. I sense a bit of trumpet blowing ‘look at me, look at me’ was behind her post. Yours, on the other hand was fabulous 🙂 #BloggerClubUk
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky Week 3My Profile

  16. May 18, 2016 / 10:23 pm

    This is a very measured response, I’ve read a few that really weren’t. I didn’t even bother to read her post if I’m honest, I tried but I didn’t find it to be particularly well written, which always puts me off. Maybe the quality of her own writing was her biggest problem.
    Nat.x
    Natalie Ray recently posted…National Sea Life Centre a review & eventsMy Profile

  17. May 19, 2016 / 12:06 am

    I did click on the link to the ‘Mommy blogger-you suck’ and the account is suspended. I have read a few of the replies to this blog post, although I haven’t read the original, I can’t help but think it’s a very clever method to get views and cause a stir. Some people blog, entice and cause controversy just for the sake of it. I think your approach, to take it as a warning is probably the best and I like that way of thinking about it. Great, measured post #bloggingclubuk

  18. May 19, 2016 / 12:46 am

    My mummy hasn’t read it yet. Nor will she, she doesn’t really care what a stranger has to say on the subject. It was a ‘shock value post’ from what she can gather in order to gain page views. This is one view she isn’t getting. However my mummy is intrigued by the responses, especially from this side on the pond. I think it’s about being happy with what you are doing, if your happy then who cares? #BloggerClubUK

  19. May 19, 2016 / 4:08 am

    Wow, I am so pleased I read this post. Just TONIGHT something similar happened to me. She actually wrote a post on it on her own blog. I so wanted to react like you first wanted to, but slowly calmed down. Yes my feelings are hurt, but I guess that’s going to happen when I blog. I’m just not used to being unkind to someone when I disagree with them. But anyway, I feel like this post was written just for me! So thank you! #bloggerclubuk

  20. May 20, 2016 / 1:56 pm

    A great post. I take no notice to people who don’t like mommy blogs. That’s down to them! I have met some lovely blog friends, you included of course, through blogging and it’s sharing my thoughts and reading some lovely comments that keeps me going even when sometimes I question it. #effitfridays
    Fran Back With A Bump recently posted…A Letter To My 8 Year OldMy Profile

  21. May 20, 2016 / 2:19 pm

    Oooh I haven’t seen that post or even heard about it until now but you have peaked my interest so I’m off for a read…………

    #effitfridays

  22. May 20, 2016 / 2:53 pm

    I think she had some valid points but I also think she was very harsh. I also notice she’s still blogging, reviewing products and I’m sure someone said she was asking to be sponsored to go to a blogging event so I’m not sure I take her that seriously!!

    Hope your last week in Dubai and trip back to the UK go ok and it’s not too stressful!
    Karen recently posted…Friday’s Rant – stop with the silly faces on Snap Chat…My Profile

  23. May 20, 2016 / 4:33 pm

    I read (ok, skim read, ahahaha) her post. I thought she actually had some good points but I don’t see that they were aimed at all mum (or indeed, mommy) bloggers. I don’t know – I enjoy writing, I know my family and friends enjoy reading, I don’t really do product reviews unless there is something in it for me and I don’t see the number of people who read my drivel as related to my worth in real life.

    Oh, and I rarely use exclamation points.

    I’ll hand it to her though – nearly 7k shares. If you want to go viral, you gotta pee people off. Well done her 🙂

    I have read some awful things about mum blogs on forums – some directly aimed towards me and others who use them to promote our writing as well as join in the discussion. The thing is for every person who is vocal about it being boring/useless/shit, there are two who comment or email or say they enjoy it. So who cares.
    Glad you’re not put off! #effitfridays
    Fran @ Whinge Whinge Wine recently posted…Most relaxing holiday everMy Profile

  24. May 20, 2016 / 4:54 pm

    I’m back again lol 🙂 Thanks for hosting #effitfriday
    Debbie

  25. May 20, 2016 / 8:06 pm

    Ok, I’m now officially reaching stalker status!
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
    Debbie

  26. May 23, 2016 / 3:32 pm

    Right so I just read the post in question – interesting that she has comments turned off. I think she did it for publicity, for lots of shares & to look cool. If she thinks all mommy bloggers are fake & shallow then she’s obviously in that type of cirlce. The ones I have the privilege to communicate with & to read their blogs – yes I read them – are intelligent, caring & deep people. Their posts interest me. So I wouldn’t take any bit of notice of what she has said. She is a clever advertiser – she will gain lots of shares & link backs from bloggers who argue back. If that’s her game then she is quite good at it. lol x
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…Our Subscription Box from BookawooMy Profile

  27. May 25, 2016 / 1:19 pm

    I think any blog post that gets us thinking. But a post that starts a slanging match is not so good.
    Good for you for sticking with what you do. I like the way you write.

  28. May 25, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    Great post! I turned down my first sponsored post this week because it was absolute drivel and there was no way I was going to post it even though they were going to pay me. We should definitely stay true to what our blogs are about #effitfriday
    Crummy Mummy recently posted…Class birthday parties have a lot to answer forMy Profile

  29. Jane Allen
    May 29, 2016 / 12:17 am

    Shout out to all mommy blogs out there. You make my life better. When I don’t seem to get this ‘mothering thing’, I get online and pronto, I find someone going through a similar situation. The mere fact that someone is going through that makes me comfortable. And I read your blogs for the downright honest and practical advice you provide. I salute you all.

  30. June 15, 2016 / 3:50 pm

    I read it as a newbie blogger and felt that there were some good points raised. I also thought: ouch! This is going to hurt a few people and damage a few egos. My final thought on it was, like everyone else, it was written to get as big a response as possible and I was left thinking, well, go girl, if that’s what blows your hair back! Alison via Absolutely Prabulous’ Blog Stars
    Alison (MadHouseMum) recently posted…The Refer-conundrum-humdrumMy Profile

  31. June 16, 2016 / 10:38 pm

    Brilliant. A fantastic way to reframe and take control of what should inspire an attack response. You didn’t dismiss it as click bait, you went deeper and took inspiration from it.

    *applause*

  32. July 27, 2016 / 9:47 am

    I was completely pulled in by the title of this and immediately felt a bit angry for all ‘mommy bloggers’. Having read the post (obviously after a bit of attention with such a controversial topic) I can relate a bit to this. I have been feeling a bit shit about my blog recently as I didn’t feel it measured up to the ‘clean, polished, PR friendly, high stats’ blogs that I came away from one recent Blogging event feeling that it should be. My drawings are a little bit crap and I swear too much – I’ll never be a Brand ambassador or something similar. But I realised Id have to be something I’m not, so I get what she’s saying. However, there are a lot of blogs who review stuff that I enjoy so its all about being true to yourself I suppose and not getting caught up in something that is not right for yourself. Great post Laura x

  33. November 8, 2016 / 4:42 pm

    I love your blog. Very happy to have discovered it thanks to Twitter. I can only hope to elicit the responses on my blog that you have earned. It inspires me when I find a treasure like this Thanks for your honesty and for bringing awareness to the challenges of blog writing from a mom’s perspective. Looking forward to reading more from you! Kindest Regards! World of Writer Mom
    Mary Varville-Rodriguez recently posted…World of Writer Mom Portfolio ~ Mary Varville-RodriguezMy Profile

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