A while back, in fact the day the Baby was born no less, I read a post on Parental Sleeping Positions from Little Hearts Big Love. Now this had me chuckling away and knowing it was my future, especially as it depicted ways when you’re trying to put your children to sleep.
But what about when you are that utterly exhausted parent? When you can fall asleep standing up (and do)? Where the Toddler has nothing on you for unusual napping positions and he falls asleep underneath the Jumperoo?
These are all positions that I’ve personally taken up since the Toddler no longer sleeps, and the Baby? Well the Baby never got the hang of it in the first place.
The Doing the Nod One
Whenever you manage to take 5 seconds to sit down you do the oh so classy head nod power nap. Complete with drool. Attractive.
The Steering Wheel One
Both kids have fallen asleep in the car and you don’t dare move them for fear of waking them. Steering wheels make fantastic pillows….
The At Least the Floor is Horizontal One
Your child demands requests your presence at bedtime. Until they are asleep. Fast asleep. Not only that but they demand request that they can touch some part of you. So you half lie, half sit with your head on their bed. And wake up 40 minutes later. Your child? Was asleep but senses you move your head a fraction so of course is now awake.
The Can You Find Me in Here One?
Now the Toddler needs to take all 16 million of his soft toys, that he ignores throughout the day, at least 7 books, 4 cars and the occasional wooden spoon to bed with him. Along with whatever toy flavour of the month is, Toy Story currently. I’ve been bopped round the head more times than I care to say by Buzz Lightyear……
Then he has a nightmare and requires my presence in bed with him. Occasionally as a human mattress. Along with all aforementioned toys.
The Musical Beds One
Everyone in the house is awake. The only way for anyone to get any sleep at any point is for one massive bed share. Daddy hangs onto the edge. The Toddler starfishes in the middle using the ultimate in human comfort blankets – my hair – I lie in a contorted position that I’d never be able to pull off in any yoga class with the Baby attached to the boob…..
The Tag Team One
In our house we play the lie in card and the nap card. In the interests of fairness two weekend days means we get a lie in each. That normally works. Except for hangover days when we fight in bed over the pre-agreed lie in.
The Asleep With My Eyes Open One
The one where you’re kind of functioning. But barely. Basically you’re asleep on your feet. For those of you that don’t have children this is a similar feeling to 4:30pm in the office the day after you’ve been out *big* the night before.
The Bed One
The most coveted of sleeping positions, let alone a sleeping position of an utterly exhausted parent. Horizontal. In a bed. With clean sheets.
In our house I get to enjoy this in approximately 43 minute blocks at different periods throughout the night.
What about in your house? What sleeping positions do you get to enjoy?
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