Sleeping Positions of the Utterly Exhausted Parent

No one is sleeping in our house, if it’s not Musical Beds it’s the Baby not sleeping, if it’s not the Baby it’s the Toddler who isn’t sleeping. Obsessed with sleep isn’t even the word.

A while back, in fact the day the Baby was born no less, I read a post on Parental Sleeping Positions from Little Hearts Big Love. Now this had me chuckling away and knowing it was my future, especially as it depicted ways when you’re trying to put your children to sleep.

But what about when you are that utterly exhausted parent? When you can fall asleep standing up (and do)? Where the Toddler has nothing on you for unusual napping positions and he falls asleep underneath the Jumperoo?

2015-09-30 16.06.35

These are all positions that I’ve personally taken up since the Toddler no longer sleeps, and the Baby? Well the Baby never got the hang of it in the first place.

The Doing the Nod One

Whenever you manage to take 5 seconds to sit down you do the oh so classy head nod power nap.  Complete with drool.  Attractive.

chair sleep

The Steering Wheel One

Both kids have fallen asleep in the car and you don’t dare move them for fear of waking them.  Steering wheels make fantastic pillows….

car seat asleep

The At Least the Floor is Horizontal One

Your child demands requests your presence at bedtime.  Until they are asleep.  Fast asleep.  Not only that but they demand request that they can touch some part of you.  So you half lie, half sit with your head on their bed. And wake up 40 minutes later.  Your child?  Was asleep but senses you move your head a fraction so of course is now awake.

The Can You Find Me in Here One?

Now the Toddler needs to take all 16 million of his soft toys, that he ignores throughout the day, at least 7 books, 4 cars and the occasional wooden spoon to bed with him. Along with whatever toy flavour of the month is, Toy Story currently. I’ve been bopped round the head more times than I care to say by Buzz Lightyear……

Then he has a nightmare and requires my presence in bed with him. Occasionally as a human mattress. Along with all aforementioned toys.


The Musical Beds One

Everyone in the house is awake. The only way for anyone to get any sleep at any point is for one massive bed share. Daddy hangs onto the edge. The Toddler starfishes in the middle using the ultimate in human comfort blankets – my hair – I lie in a contorted position that I’d never be able to pull off in any yoga class with the Baby attached to the boob…..

The Morning After the Night Before

The Tag Team One

In our house we play the lie in card and the nap card. In the interests of fairness two weekend days means we get a lie in each. That normally works. Except for hangover days when we fight in bed over the pre-agreed lie in.

The Asleep With My Eyes Open One

The one where you’re kind of functioning. But barely. Basically you’re asleep on your feet. For those of you that don’t have children this is a similar feeling to 4:30pm in the office the day after you’ve been out *big* the night before.

The Bed One

The most coveted of sleeping positions, let alone a sleeping position of an utterly exhausted parent. Horizontal. In a bed. With clean sheets.

In our house I get to enjoy this in approximately 43 minute blocks at different periods throughout the night.

**not my bed (I wish)

What about in your house? What sleeping positions do you get to enjoy?

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My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
Sleeping Positions of the Utterly Exhausted Parent


  1. November 3, 2015 / 11:37 am

    Great post! All sounds very familiar! One position I’m happy to have left behind now my daughter’s in a bed is the one where you stand, hanging over the side of the cot because the baby needs to have your hand on them to be able to sleep. I think someone somewhere named this one the ‘clothes line’! x #TwinklyTuesday

  2. November 3, 2015 / 12:43 pm

    Oh yes – if you’d told me that I would be longing for the point where I could lie down on a cold floor with a breastfeeding pillow and throw, and would see that as a perfectly reasonable trade-off for sleep, I doubt I’d have believed you before my daughter was born. Touch wood, she’s now much better at sleeping but I remember that desperation for some sleep, anywhere, anyhow!

  3. November 3, 2015 / 1:11 pm

    Totally feel for you hon….the less sleep you get the more sleep obsessed you become. And for that reason my uterus is currently losing its battle! Hope the sleep fairies visit you again soon! #twinklytuesday

  4. November 3, 2015 / 1:40 pm

    Not so bad my son is older, but we often end up doing three in a bed in the morning. My son would love to sleep with us all night, but that’s not great for me.

  5. November 3, 2015 / 2:19 pm

    I cannot function without sleep so totally understand this. I spent many a night bed hopping when mine were young until I had the third who loved her sleep as much as me. I am kind of glad I didnt have her first though as I would have expected the same from the other two!

  6. November 3, 2015 / 4:01 pm

    Oooh that used to be me! Before my little one slept in her own room, she would sleep in my bed and the transition to her bed had me staying with her until she fell asleep then tiptoeing back to my room only for her to follow. haha… I laugh now, but at the time I sooo wanted to cry!

  7. November 3, 2015 / 8:04 pm

    Ah, I am so glad those days are behind me. I rememeber most of them well. I still tend to do the asleep with one eye open one regulalrly. The joys of insomnoa being the culprit these days. #Twinklytuesday

  8. November 3, 2015 / 9:16 pm

    Ha ha this is great! I am always doing the nod! Have almost done the car one too. Fab post x

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:40 am

      I must get funny looks from my neighbours while I sleep in the car!x

  9. November 3, 2015 / 10:26 pm

    ha ha this made me laugh, isn’t it funny how your forget about the lack of sleep. Monkey has taken to wanting to fall asleep in our bed and then we move him into his own. The only issue is that at 3.5 he’s heavy and I struggle to lift him some nights! Hope it gets better for you soon xx

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:39 am

      We have the same issue, coupled with if we try to move him it results in instant eye opening and Mummy? Mummy? MUMMY???? Thank you – I will sleep again one day 🙂 x

  10. November 3, 2015 / 11:03 pm

    Oh lord thankfully I don’t share a bedroom with anyone but when the little girl that I look after falls asleep she snores and lays nearly falling off the bed. I have to tuck her back in before she crashes into the wall lol.

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:38 am

      We had the Toddler asleep with his head under his ladder horizontally across the bed last week!

  11. November 3, 2015 / 11:15 pm

    Oh boy. I remember this SO well. My youngest is now 8 years old but it feels like just yesterday! the musical beds one? Yup! I end up “sleeping” on the floor. Every single night. Gosh I use to be so exhausted I could sleep standing up! Don’t worry, it DOES get easier, I promise. I also wish that bed was mine, looks SO comfy. xx

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:38 am

      It really does doesn’t it? Something about white sheets!! There is light at the end of the tunnel then?? x

  12. November 4, 2015 / 12:10 am

    My mummy has been known to kip in the car while I slept too with the engine running and the heater on…obviously when the cars not moving. 😉 #TwinklyTuesday

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:37 am

      haha yes I have to keep the car running to keep the AC on!!

  13. November 4, 2015 / 12:22 am

    Oh I regularly do the horizontal floor one! We have to stay with Zach while he is falling asleep. Luckily now he has dropped his nap he only takes a few minutes to fall asleep but a few months back it was at least half an hour and we would always nod off. I was forever going upstairs to wake the other half up after I could hear him snoring through the floorboards!! I have to say, you are not selling this second child malarchy very well! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  14. November 4, 2015 / 12:23 am

    Oh I regularly do the horizontal floor one! We have to stay with Zach while he is falling asleep. Luckily now he has dropped his nap he only takes a few minutes to fall asleep but a few months back it was at least half an hour and we would always nod off. I was forever going upstairs to wake the other half up after I could hear him snoring through the floorboards!! I have to say, you are not selling this second child malarkey very well! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:37 am

      Ahh the sleep deprived nature isn’t too bad, he is 100% completely worth it and, through sleep deprived eyes, I see him giggling at his big brother or his big brother cuddling him saying “I love you” it makes the sleepless nights worth it. Until then. Coffee. In particular pumpkin spiced latte mmmmmmm xx

  15. November 4, 2015 / 2:45 am

    Thankfully it’s usually in bed for me. Although I have been known to have N turn up (with me sleeping through it). I did a sleep child positions post a while back. That might coincide with your post.

    • Laura
      November 4, 2015 / 9:35 am

      I try to at least start in the bed even if it doesn’t end that way! I just popped over to have a look (and how cute is bubba??) it made me giggle – I’ve seen all of those from the Toddler!

  16. November 4, 2015 / 3:42 pm

    Oh, sleep! How I miss it. I recognise many of these. It’s not as bad these days as the boys do often sleep through, though it’s not uncommon for one or both of them to get up before 5am. I do go through phases of ending up curled up on the end of Tyger’s bed at 3am and that’s unpleasant. I hope you get more and more of the Bed One!


  17. November 5, 2015 / 1:48 am

    The Musical Beds paragraph!! Oh my friend I feel for you (and actually don’t know as I’ve said before how you can function never mind write blog posts in such a sleep-deprived state) but I did laugh at that bit.

    • Laura
      November 12, 2015 / 7:42 am

      Haha well it’s TRUE! I’m not sure how I function either maybe that’s another post in itself…..

  18. November 9, 2015 / 5:56 pm

    Haha – yes, some of these sound familiar! We’ve just started doing the alternating lie ins on weekends! #fartglitter

    • Laura
      November 12, 2015 / 8:03 am

      The lie in. The most coveted day of the week!

  19. November 9, 2015 / 6:52 pm

    I don’t miss these days. Mine if finally of the age where if she’s up too early in the morning I can just give her a bowl of cheerios, turn on the TV and do the “doze on the coach with the pillows over my head” sleep

    • Laura
      November 12, 2015 / 8:15 am

      Our three year old we can…. the Baby not so much!

  20. November 9, 2015 / 7:47 pm

    haha great post! My little guy is almost 11 months now and still refuses to sleep through the night, then when he’s up he’s just go go go all day long. So sometimes I get creative too when it comes to the sleep positions! haha

    • Laura
      November 12, 2015 / 8:17 am

      Sleep is sleep however it happens right??

  21. November 10, 2015 / 1:53 pm

    I was just thinking ‘Wow, their bedroom looks lovely!’ and then I read below. Yes, most of these moves are pretty familiar except the falling asleep in his bedroom. Managed to avoid that so far but we’ll see. Good luck with it. Hope you manage more than 45 minutes on the trot soon.
    Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

  22. Kayla
    November 11, 2015 / 6:17 am

    I remember many of these from when my youngest was a baby. Those baby years are fun when you rarely get sleep! (Not.) #fartglitter

  23. December 11, 2015 / 12:31 pm

    Love this post Laura and thank you for acknowledging my original post as the inspiration for it. I love the other sleeping positions that weren’t on my list. The “at least the floor is horizontal one” is a regular here at the moment as is “musical beds”. We never quite manage to have one lie-in each at the weekend; hubby seems to be the one who always gets to sleep in but he does often go to bed very late so I think in terms of actual sleep managed we’re fairly even. Hope you all get some more sleep soon! 🙂

  24. February 29, 2016 / 8:16 pm

    Ha ha, thankfully we’ve not suffered many of these. Mostly he climbs in with me. Although the OH will lie while I read a story in N’s bed and close his eyes. He says he’s not sleeping. Oh and one night on the sofa the first night N was home after being born when he cried all night (turned out he was too cold but we’d not worked that out), when he put him in his carrycot all night.

    This goes quite well with my 10 sleeping positions of children post.

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