A Christmas Letter to Myself Before I Had Children

Dear Me Before I Had Children,

Christmas is, and has always been, your favourite time of year. The excitement in the air is tangible, you can almost see it sparkle, you can definitely feel an air of anticipation. Not much has changed now you have the boys, and oh what adorable boys they are, the excitement is still there.

The thing that has changed is you. Your ideas of parenting before you had the boys, is quite frankly, laughable. That life wouldn’t change and that the boys would slot in around you happily. Writing this post is a case in point, you’ve already stopped four times, twice to sing “I’m a little teapot”, once to sing “Wheels on the Bus” and once for a WEE WEE emergency. The idea that children are seen and not heard? Well they haven’t heard my boys.

So, given that it is Christmas, I thought I’d send a festive themed letter back to you, reminding you of the things you said you’d never do, or that indeed you would do, at Christmas time once you have children. And I shall sit here smugly drinking my (cold) tea and eating (read *sharing*) my mince pie while I pour cold water on pre-children’s me misconceptions.

Santa will not be used as a behavioural tool

And he wasn’t for the first three Christmases. However this year the Big One knows who Santa is and that you have to be good for presents. What better tactic to get him to LIE DOWN in bed than to remind him he needs to be a good boy for Santa?

Chocolate will be a treat

You’ll be glad to know that you’ve stuck to the “I won’t deny my children chocolate” ideas that you had. But only as a treat?

open advent calendar

More like chocolate for breakfast.

You will not be dictated by routine and nap time

A Christmas party play date at 4pm? A 20 minute car ride away? Declined. However much you’d love to go, it isn’t worth the risk of the Big One falling to sleep on the way there or back. Nap time has left this house because of the impact on bedtime. Some things just aren’t worth it.

They won’t watch TV

OK so they don’t.

They watch the iPad instead.

In PJs. You are on first name terms with Raa Raa the Noisy Little Lion, you are adept at turning the magic on for Tree Fu Tom, you even tolerate Melody and hey, at least that is introducing him to classical music??

Vegetables will be their friend

No. Vegetables require massive bribery tactics. Or hiding. They do not share your love of sprouts…

While there are things that you said you wouldn’t do and that you do, and things that you thought would happen that haven’t I wouldn’t worry too much. Your boys are growing up into very nice little men.

Polite, well mannered (most of the time) but most of all, they are so loved. Which is also different to what you thought. You knew that you would love your boys. What you could never have predicted or even understood is just how much you love them.

studio dubai

These boys? And their Daddy? They are your whole world.

You will love them to the moon, and back, and then some.

Sure they will fight, they will irritate, they will bicker, they will test boundaries. But your love for them? Will just keep growing. And that is something that could never be explained. Not while you were a single girl living the party life, not while you were embarking on a brand new relationship, getting engaged, not even when you found out you were pregnant. Some things can’t be written down, or explained.

But those things? Those things are often even better than we ever expected.

Enjoy it. Every moment. They grow so fast.

And learn to eat fast. In the kitchen. Otherwise you share.

Love Me as a Mummy x x x



  1. December 22, 2015 / 4:43 pm

    I love how real your letter is and how what you expected life to be like before you were a parent may not exactly resemble what your actual reality is. It is refreshing to see that you are not down on yourself about it but have grown into parenting. That’s what it is all about, right? šŸ™‚ Merry Christmas! Love your post!

  2. December 22, 2015 / 8:00 pm

    I still hide veggies in food so my husband eats them, I am sure it is a life long issue x

  3. December 23, 2015 / 12:07 am

    The picture of you with the boys is absolutely gorgeous, they are such little cuties šŸ™‚ It’s so true that we have lots of notions about parenting before the real thing happens, I changed my opinion on so many things when I had to experience the reality of parenting!

  4. December 23, 2015 / 12:42 am

    This is a beautiful letter, made me teary! You’re right, the love for our babies can not be put into words. It’s the most amazing love there is x

  5. December 23, 2015 / 4:13 am

    Oh what a brilliant letter. I have lots of these as I wrote lots of journals as a young adult. Now I feel inspired to get my journals out!


  6. December 23, 2015 / 4:29 am

    Lovely post. I totally concur as well. My friend Maz always talks about “good enough” parenting. We’re all trying our best, so why do we beat ourselves up about the fact that things aren’t perfect? I hope you all have a lovely Christmas.xx

  7. December 24, 2015 / 9:03 am

    Beautiful pic and lovely letter … imagine if somehow you could actually go back in time and give yourself that letter, I wonder what your reaction would be / would have been. šŸ™‚ Parental ideals are definitely soon adjusted to parenting realities, aren’t they. Crazy how they don’t always want the food on their plate, but yours is usually attrative to them. Indeed, they grow so fast and we do well to cherish every moment, even when it’s not quite the moment we would have imagined having with them … mine watches the videos we make of us on the phone, and uses the huddl for educational apps – so much for the no screen time idea, hey. šŸ™‚ #12daysofparenting

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