5 things I said I would do to be a perfect parent, but don’t….

I had a list as long as my arm before I became a mum of things I would do.  I had an ideal of how I would become Mary Poppins.  I had a plan that this tiny little bundle would fit round my life and how I would just, you know, be the perfect parent.  No one was going to parent better than me, no one!

I know, I know, I can hear you all laughing.  But poor little pregnant me had no idea.  Either time.  Yes, I was just as deluded second time round. You’d think I’d have learnt from the first time that babies have their own agenda.  But no.  Not me….

I would only feed them organic, home made, wholesome food

Apparently McDonalds and chocolate buttons do not fall under this category.  Who knew?!

chocolate face

They would only drink water and milk

Never juice.  Except maybe the fresh squeeze kind.  Or the carton stuff.  Or squash.  Well maybe occasionally.  On holidays.  Special occasions.  Or days that end with a y…

They would nap on the go, at set times, like clockwork

Meaning I could continue on with my life, drinking coffee in coffee shops while they slept, casually flicking through a magazine LIKE THE BOOKS SAID.  Not that they would only nap on the go, literally, you stop moving their eyes ping open.

Baby laughing in the cot

You think I’m sleeping in the cot


Days would be filled with crafts and educational activities not TV

But how else would I memorize all those irritating theme tunes?  And how else would I discover whether Marshall saves the day, or if Bing really will pee in his pants if I’m busy doing the ultimate in crafting and sensory experiences.  Baked beans, yep.  Painting, you bet.  Cooking, all over it.

To be fair to myself I do all of these things with the boys, I love to bake with them the Big One especially.  It’s just thing haven’t turned out quite the way I planned.  Crafts are unidentifiable, painting has ruined many a piece of clothing (and one wall), baking is edible if not Instagram-worthy.

I’ve just learnt that alongside the messy stuff, the baking, the “educating” that there is a place for TV too.  It’s not the devil, and I quite like Paw Patrol…

We would have a routine, but not be dictated by it


And a little bit more.

I was the mum who planned her days around when my child would nap, when he would sleep.  I wouldn’t go out the house after dark because heaven forbid I upset the routine.  Then I had a second child and all that flew out of the window.


Still I don’t think they are too affected by my deviations from perfect parenthood.





  1. September 19, 2016 / 10:25 am

    Me before Ollie: I’ll never use food as a bribe.
    Me now: Do you want a yoghurt? Well get in the pushchair! Haha!
    Barney bear is my best mate I can get anything in exchange for Barney cake or biscuit!
    Jo recently posted…Growing up too fast?!My Profile

    • Laura
      September 19, 2016 / 12:38 pm

      Haha we do most things for a Barney cake as well!

  2. September 30, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    Yeah, the TV thing and Paw Patrol (and Blaze and a few more). I used to believe I wouldn’t let my kids watch TV for more than a few minutes, then I had a child. And the naps, and the routine… 😀 Great post! xxx #effitfriday

  3. September 30, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    Oh the dreams we had- and it gets WORSE with every kid! You would think we would get better, wiser, seasoned. Nope. The twins had pickles for breakfast, watched the I Pad for half a day and I can not remember the last time we read a damn book with them!

    kristin mccarthy recently posted…Truths About The Suburban Stay At Home MomMy Profile

  4. September 30, 2016 / 7:13 pm

    So incredibly relatable on every level. I’m justifying t.v. because how would my kids know Spanish if not for Dora and Diego? New follower in from #effitfriday

  5. October 1, 2016 / 6:22 pm

    I was big on the homemade food too – until I discovered that a) I’m not always going to have time to cook and b) my daughter usually rejects what I make her anyway. Ella’s Kitchen it is! She also only napped on the move for most of her first year – so much for ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’. #effitfriday
    Squirmy Popple recently posted…What happens when the Guardian writes about mummy blogsMy Profile

  6. January 5, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    It’s funny how we’re such incredible parents before we actually have children isn’t it?! I particularly relate to the crafts thing – how do all these mums on Pinterest get their kids to make stuff that’s actually presentable? I bet they do it themselves 😉

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