I had a list as long as my arm before I became a mum of things I would do. I had an ideal of how I would become Mary Poppins. I had a plan that this tiny little bundle would fit round my life and how I would just, you know, be the perfect parent. No one was going to parent better than me, no one!
I know, I know, I can hear you all laughing. But poor little pregnant me had no idea. Either time. Yes, I was just as deluded second time round. You’d think I’d have learnt from the first time that babies have their own agenda. But no. Not me….
I would only feed them organic, home made, wholesome food
Apparently McDonalds and chocolate buttons do not fall under this category. Who knew?!
They would only drink water and milk
Never juice. Except maybe the fresh squeeze kind. Or the carton stuff. Or squash. Well maybe occasionally. On holidays. Special occasions. Or days that end with a y…
They would nap on the go, at set times, like clockwork
Meaning I could continue on with my life, drinking coffee in coffee shops while they slept, casually flicking through a magazine LIKE THE BOOKS SAID. Not that they would only nap on the go, literally, you stop moving their eyes ping open.
Days would be filled with crafts and educational activities not TV
But how else would I memorize all those irritating theme tunes? And how else would I discover whether Marshall saves the day, or if Bing really will pee in his pants if I’m busy doing the ultimate in crafting and sensory experiences. Baked beans, yep. Painting, you bet. Cooking, all over it.
To be fair to myself I do all of these things with the boys, I love to bake with them the Big One especially. It’s just thing haven’t turned out quite the way I planned. Crafts are unidentifiable, painting has ruined many a piece of clothing (and one wall), baking is edible if not Instagram-worthy.
We would have a routine, but not be dictated by it
And a little bit more.
I was the mum who planned her days around when my child would nap, when he would sleep. I wouldn’t go out the house after dark because heaven forbid I upset the routine. Then I had a second child and all that flew out of the window.
Still I don’t think they are too affected by my deviations from perfect parenthood.