I had a list as long as my arm before I became a mum of things I would do. I had an ideal of how I would become Mary Poppins. I had a plan that this tiny little bundle would fit round my life and how I would just, you know, be the perfect parent. No one was going to parent better than me, no one!
I know, I know, I can hear you all laughing. But poor little pregnant me had no idea. Either time. Yes, I was just as deluded second time round. You’d think I’d have learnt from the first time that babies have their own agenda. But no. Not me….
I would only feed them organic, home made, wholesome food
Apparently McDonalds and chocolate buttons do not fall under this category. Who knew?!
They would only drink water and milk
Never juice. Except maybe the fresh squeeze kind. Or the carton stuff. Or squash. Well maybe occasionally. On holidays. Special occasions. Or days that end with a y…
They would nap on the go, at set times, like clockwork
Meaning I could continue on with my life, drinking coffee in coffee shops while they slept, casually flicking through a magazine LIKE THE BOOKS SAID. Not that they would only nap on the go, literally, you stop moving their eyes ping open.
Days would be filled with crafts and educational activities not TV
But how else would I memorize all those irritating theme tunes? And how else would I discover whether Marshall saves the day, or if Bing really will pee in his pants if I’m busy doing the ultimate in crafting and sensory experiences. Baked beans, yep. Painting, you bet. Cooking, all over it.
To be fair to myself I do all of these things with the boys, I love to bake with them the Big One especially. It’s just thing haven’t turned out quite the way I planned. Crafts are unidentifiable, painting has ruined many a piece of clothing (and one wall), baking is edible if not Instagram-worthy.
I’ve just learnt that alongside the messy stuff, the baking, the “educating” that there is a place for TV too. It’s not the devil, and I quite like Paw Patrol…
We would have a routine, but not be dictated by it
Hahahahaha.
And a little bit more.
I was the mum who planned her days around when my child would nap, when he would sleep. I wouldn’t go out the house after dark because heaven forbid I upset the routine. Then I had a second child and all that flew out of the window.
Still I don’t think they are too affected by my deviations from perfect parenthood.
Me before Ollie: I’ll never use food as a bribe.
Me now: Do you want a yoghurt? Well get in the pushchair! Haha!
Barney bear is my best mate I can get anything in exchange for Barney cake or biscuit!
Author
Haha we do most things for a Barney cake as well!
Yeah, the TV thing and Paw Patrol (and Blaze and a few more). I used to believe I wouldn’t let my kids watch TV for more than a few minutes, then I had a child. And the naps, and the routine… 😀 Great post! xxx #effitfriday
Oh the dreams we had- and it gets WORSE with every kid! You would think we would get better, wiser, seasoned. Nope. The twins had pickles for breakfast, watched the I Pad for half a day and I can not remember the last time we read a damn book with them!
#effitfriday
So incredibly relatable on every level. I’m justifying t.v. because how would my kids know Spanish if not for Dora and Diego? New follower in from #effitfriday
Yup, I think I was the same. My kids would sleep (ha ha!!) my house would be tidy, we’d never use technology to entertain them, they’d never act up in public…
currently typing this surrounded by mess, whilst Matthew sobs because the iPad is flat…
but I still think we are doing a good job! #effitfriday
I was big on the homemade food too – until I discovered that a) I’m not always going to have time to cook and b) my daughter usually rejects what I make her anyway. Ella’s Kitchen it is! She also only napped on the move for most of her first year – so much for ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’. #effitfriday
It’s funny how we’re such incredible parents before we actually have children isn’t it?! I particularly relate to the crafts thing – how do all these mums on Pinterest get their kids to make stuff that’s actually presentable? I bet they do it themselves 😉