Social media represents the 5% of your life that you want to show off to the world. The joyful moments. The soppy hashtag-soblessed moments. Those moments where your child sleeps through the night. Has an epic nap and let’s you enjoy a hot cup of tea. The times where you are presented with a piece of artwork that has been completed with such love and devotion. The spontaneous I love yous. The cuddles. Siblings getting along. But some moments, some days even, there is no joy in parenting.
Some days your children suck everything out of you until you feel like there is nothing left to take, then they suck some more.
Some days the tantrums come at you from both sides, from the children and from you. Some days you don’t know where their tantrums end and yours begin.
Some days the tears flow freely. Some days they don’t, some days those tears are a hot, ball of anguish stuck in your throat.
Some days you feel like you are ready to explode and you aren’t even sure why.
Some days it is so hard that you can’t even believe you are coping second by second, minute by minute, let alone hour by hour.
Some days you need to ask for help, but don’t. Some days you need to ask for help and do.
Some days parenting is tough.
Some days everyone posting happy pictures, smiling pictures, #ohsoblessed pictures on Facebook, on Instagram, make you want to hurl your phone at the wall until it smashes.
Some days you look around at everyone else so put together and wonder why you can’t pull it together. Why you look like a mess and your children are wandering round you like little lost boys.
Some days you wonder how you are going to do it all again the next day.
Some days call for coffee. Some days call for wine. Some days call for something stronger.
Some days nothing goes the way you planned it.
Some days everything goes to plan but it’s still no good.
Some days you are spent before the sun is even properly up in the sky.
Some days there is no joy. There are no smiles. You want to crawl to bed and wake up in the morning when everything will be better again.
Some days there is no joy in parenting.
Some days there is darkness instead of light.
Those days happen to us all, even those of us who are busy posting #ohsoblessed moments. Motherhood, parenthood, is one of the toughest jobs I’ve ever had. It takes everything and then some. Some days there is no joy, but most days? Most days there is a glimmer of joy, it may only be a fleeting second but there is something to grasp onto. A smile. A hand in yours. Eyes finally closing in sleep.
Those are the moments you hold onto when some days happen.