Some days there is no joy in parenting

Social media represents the 5% of your life that you want to show off to the world.  The joyful moments.  The soppy hashtag-soblessed moments.  Those moments where your child sleeps through the night.  Has an epic nap and let’s you enjoy a hot cup of tea.  The times where you are presented with a piece of artwork that has been completed with such love and devotion.  The spontaneous I love yous.  The cuddles.  Siblings getting along.  But some moments, some days even, there is no joy in parenting.

Some days your children suck everything out of you until you feel like there is nothing left to take, then they suck some more.

Some days the tantrums come at you from both sides, from the children and from you.  Some days you don’t know where their tantrums end and yours begin.

Some days the tears flow freely.  Some days they don’t, some days those tears are a hot, ball of anguish stuck in your throat.

Some days you feel like you are ready to explode and you aren’t even sure why.

Some days it is so hard that you can’t even believe you are coping second by second, minute by minute, let alone hour by hour.

Some days you need to ask for help, but don’t.  Some days you need to ask for help and do.

Some days parenting is tough.

Some days everyone posting happy pictures, smiling pictures, #ohsoblessed pictures on Facebook, on Instagram, make you want to hurl your phone at the wall until it smashes.

Some days you look around at everyone else so put together and wonder why you can’t pull it together.  Why you look like a mess and your children are wandering round you like little lost boys.

Some days you wonder how you are going to do it all again the next day.

Some days call for coffee.  Some days call for wine.  Some days call for something stronger.

Some days nothing goes the way you planned it.

Some days everything goes to plan but it’s still no good.

Some days you are spent before the sun is even properly up in the sky.

Some days there is no joy.  There are no smiles.  You want to crawl to bed and wake up in the morning when everything will be better again.

Some days there is no joy in parenting.

Some days there is darkness instead of light.

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Those days happen to us all, even those of us who are busy posting #ohsoblessed moments.  Motherhood, parenthood, is one of the toughest jobs I’ve ever had.  It takes everything and then some.  Some days there is no joy, but most days?  Most days there is a glimmer of joy, it may only be a fleeting second but there is something to grasp onto.  A smile.  A hand in yours.  Eyes finally closing in sleep.

Those are the moments you hold onto when some days happen.

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15 Comments

  1. September 21, 2016 / 7:41 am

    I definitely have days like these now and again…I am a SAHM and my family live miles away so I’m pretty much on my own most of the time. They’re even worse when PMT strikes…gin and chocolate definitely needed then! #bestandworst

  2. September 21, 2016 / 7:50 am

    Ha! Think I’m having one of those days today! Baby wide awake at 5am. Daughter up at 6am. It’s going to be a loooong.

  3. September 21, 2016 / 1:01 pm

    All so true and beautifully written. Oliver’s sick this week. I was meant to be going to yoga tomorrow followed by the cinema with my yoga girls. But Oliver is sick so I can’t. He was meant to be in preschool for the whole day for the first time. I really wanted to see how he handled it. And we are going to see my brother in law this weekend, Oliver was going to have a sleepover with his cousins but now he’s going to need to stay with us. It’s my 30th birthday this weekend. Sigh.
    But on the other hand, I love how much he needs me…

  4. September 21, 2016 / 6:50 pm

    I had one of those days yesterday. ‘Irrational’ was the buzz word in the Tin Box household. If only you could predict when it was going to happen so you could try to prepare yourself!

  5. September 22, 2016 / 2:07 pm

    Oh yep I have been there without a doubt and it sucks but these days don’t happen very often. Thanks for linking up lovely, hope you’ll stop by again #bestandworst

  6. September 23, 2016 / 1:09 am

    A post with soooo much truth! I can relate to every aspect of it. Reminded me that I am not alone. When I am feeling low, I pray. That always calms me down and makes me feel more positive 🙂

  7. September 23, 2016 / 7:34 am

    So so true and I can’t even begin to imagine how testing this year has been for you with all the moving about. Hopefully you’ll now get to feel a bit more settled! Thanks for hosting as always #effitfriday

  8. September 23, 2016 / 7:34 am

    So true! Love this post because it’s certain that we will all feel like that at some point. God knows that I love my Baba, but sometimes I wish I didn’t want to have kids! Grumpy Boyfriend always reminds me that I am the one who initiated this project called ‘Baby’ hahaha #effitfridays

  9. September 23, 2016 / 9:29 am

    Amen. Parenting is great, lovely, amazing and HARD. I don’t understand why people avoid this part of it on purpose.
    #effitfriday

  10. September 23, 2016 / 11:09 am

    Laura this is so true. Last week after a particularly testing morning and the 10th toddler meltdown I sat on my kitchen floor and sobbed. Some days are just really really hard. #effitfriday x

  11. September 23, 2016 / 1:50 pm

    Yep! Somedays simply suck ass! Today is turning out to be one of them…as was yesterday.

    #effitfriday

  12. September 24, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    I’ve had quite a few of those days recently… although tea at naptime has got me through it 🙂 #effitfriday

  13. September 25, 2016 / 4:25 pm

    Couldn’t agree more with this post! Some days there are no joys and you’re like what the hell have I done?! And I agree with wanting to hurl my phone at the wall sometimes with all the #ohsoblessedpictures. #SundayBest

  14. September 26, 2016 / 3:12 pm

    Oh yes, this is all so true! #bestandworst

  15. September 27, 2016 / 4:14 pm

    I hear you. I’m going through a lot of these days lately. Three has felt like a hard age. Forget terrible twos. Three has been far harder. We’re nearly at four and I have no idea how that will be. But I guess I’m learning along the way. I love posts like these that show we are not alone. Thank you for sharing. #bestandworst

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