Yesterday afternoon was hideous. I mean I know parenting is not easy but this was off the scale hideous.
One of those parenting afternoons that needs to be wiped from your memory. It wasn’t just hard, it was extreme. You know the ones?
Over tired kids, giving out attitude, fighting, kicking, screaming, wrestling, tantrums.
One of those afternoons.
Parenting IS hard
There is no denying it. Parenting is not easy.
Whatever type of parent you are, whichever parenting philosophy you identify with, if you don’t identify with any parenting philosophy, whatever you do, parenting is hard.
There is no rule book. Your kids will test the boundaries. They will push you further than your furthest limits. You will have days where you feel as though they will break you.
And that is normal.
You are not alone in feeling like you’re in the middle of raising the feral family as one child runs screaming like a banshee brandishing a rolling pin over his head whilst the other is chasing him on a ride on Paw Patrol car making the siren wail. The noise. The chaos.
It is not just you that looks longingly at the parent who walks into school in front of you, whose child is listening, walking sedately, and holding hands – as they’ve been asked too. It’s not just you wondering where you are going wrong and why is it like this?
The truth is that chances are someone is looking at you, with your children, and questioning why their children aren’t like that.
Those tough moments? Those parenting realities? They are a moment in a time. And one that needs to be talked about so people realise that people do not have perfect lives whatever they portray.
Parenting is not easy. Yes. I completely agree. More than that I am on the front line with you.
But it doesn’t always have to be hard
At the end of each day, however hard, however feral, I can look back and see the little shining moments of joy.
Some days there are more than others, but every day there is at least one moment. One shining moment of perfection.
A simple “I love you Mummy” spontaneously bursting forth coupled with a million cuddles and kisses.
A kind gesture of sharing crackers. (Even if you didn’t want to eat them.)
A little person clambering up on your knee and wrapping their arms around your neck. Breathing in that baby scent.
Getting down on the floor and playing LEGO. Watching in awe at how old they have become in front of your eyes, seeing the joy in their face as you help.
The proud moments when they achieve something they believed they couldn’t. Building self confidence and watching as they fly on their own.
When they play together for the first time, interacting and being kind.
Shining eyes ready and delighted to tell you all about their day, the time in school they spent apart from you.
Snuggled together watching favourite films on the couch.
The perfection that is your child.
Sneaking in at night to see them as they sleep, soft lashes curled on baby cheeks, worries of the day melted away.
Those are the moments I remember. When the days get tough, when parenting gets hard, I remember the good.
Yes, parenting isn’t always easy – but it’s not always hard either.