I’ve been trying to sit down to write this post since the smallest one turned 6 months old.
And every time I’ve tried to put into words what life with three children is like something has happened. Someone has needed me.
A drink has been spilt. A snack needs to be made.
A nap needs to be had.
Cut knees, bumped heads, arguments. Crying.
I want all of your attention on me whilst I show you what I can do and unless you give it to me I am going to scream until you do.
Games to be played.
Dinners to be made.
Carving out time for myself, time for my husband, time for each of the boys.
Writing this down just hasn’t been the top of my priority list.
So I guess you could say that life with three children is busy.
I knew that our life would change when we added our third baby in December 2018. The jump from one to two children was a bit of a shock to the system so I was fully expecting the jump from two to three to rattle us to our core.
And it has.
And it hasn’t.
It is true what they say, I cannot imagine a life without the smallest member of our family. It feels like a lifetime ago that we only had two children, and even longer ago that we only have our precious first born. (and boy was I was precious over him…..).
And it’s true that you’re now outnumbered.
You no longer have a hand for everyone to hold. You can’t divide and conquer.
But that’s OK too. You just kind of find a new normal.
And life with three children is our new normal
And yes, it’s busy, we’re outnumbered.
And no. The baby doesn’t just “slot in” because they have too. They’re still a person with their own personality, and maybe, just maybe, that personality isn’t as easy going as you’d thought it would be.
And yes, the needs and the wants of the others still hammer down on you. Just because they are seven and four their needs still shape your days. It may have moved on from they need a nap to they need help reading, or writing, or playing playmobil, but they’re there just the same.
And maybe, just maybe, your needs slip a little down the pile unless you take a hold of it to make sure you don’t lose yourself.
But what I’ve discovered is that although three children has changed our dynamic, our family and our routine. That life has gotten bigger, busier and much, much noisier.
The real thing that’s changed is me
What I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing with my PFB (precious first born), I did to some extent with my middle child, and my third (and final) baby? He can do pretty much anything within reason.
We have a routine, but it’s no big deal if it flies out of the window. As I type this my youngest is fast asleep after going down for his nap too late, and will probably only have this one nap today but hey. That’s life.
We eat home cooked food most nights, and yes, it’s not always the healthiest. And to be honest it doesn’t always get eaten with dinner time tantrums.
We laugh, play and get outside as much as we can. But a little bit of screen isn’t going to hurt them.
I STILL have horrific mum guilt being away from them, but I know that they are loved, safe and thriving without me having to be with them 24/7. And that is crucial for me in making sure I don’t get lost in motherhood.
But the main thing I’ve learned since having three children?
Everybody has a different experience, a different dynamic and a different family. So no one can truly ever tell you what life will be like with three children because their family is different to yours.
But if you’re anything like mine? Well there’s only one word.